Wally Darling AU oneshots

Priest Wally『 A priests confession 』

[𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲]

I wanted to write this, inspiration struck me. >:3

[𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬]

Angst??

[𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭]

1202

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The sun was setting over the quaint little town, casting long shadows on the vibrantly painted houses. It was another day in Welcome Home, where smiles were wide and eyes bright, especially when they were focused on Priest, the ever-charming and charismatic leader of the town's oddly intense religious devotion to HOME.

Priest, with his pompadour perfectly coiffed and his yellow felt skin glowing in the waning light, stood near the town's central shrine, an imposing structure dedicated to HOME, the "benevolent" entity that everyone seemed to adore. Everyone, that is, except for the newest neighbor in town, Y/n.

The human, who had arrived in little town a few weeks ago, who wasn't exactly keen on the whole cult thing. They were the type of person who valued their independence. The puppet, however, was relentless.

He had tried his best, in the most charming and subtle ways, to nudge them toward worshipping his god like the others, but they always had an excuse.

"Ah, Priest, you know. I would come to the prayer meeting, but I'm, uh... allergic to incense!"

"I've got to reorganize my sock drawer tonight. You know how it is, busy busy!"

"Sorry, Priest, but my cat doesn't like cults."

And these where just some of the things they once said, often wrinkling their nose dramatically.

Priest was used to people being eager to follow his every word, so Y/n's stubbornness was both irritating and... oddly intriguing.

Every time they deflected, he found himself both annoyed and strangely captivated. They weren't like the others, and that refusal to be a sheep in the flock set them apart in his mind.

One evening, as Y/n was walking down the street, likely on their way to avoid yet another prayer gathering like the plague, Priest intercepted them, blocking their path with his signature sunny smile.

"Neighbor!" Priest greeted in his usual singsong voice, hands clasped behind his back. "Have you reconsidered attending our evening service tonight? I'm sure HOME would love to have a new follower, and your presence would be just... delightful."

Y/n gave a weak smile, rubbing the back of their neck. "Ah, yeah, about that... I was actually just on my way to-"

But before they could finish their excuse, the towns leader smile faltered. His eyes, usually bright with fervor, dimmed for a moment as he let out a deep, weary sigh. Then, unexpectedly, he dropped the ever-charming persona, slumping his shoulders dramatically.

"You know what? Forget it." He muttered, running a hand through his pompadour as he leaned against the nearby fence. "I can't keep doing this."

They blinked, frozen in confusion. "Uh... doing what?"

"This!" Priest exclaimed, waving his hands toward the shrine in exasperation. "Running this cult, trying to get everyone to worship HOME all the time, keeping up the whole 'perfect leader' act! It's exhausting!"

Y/n stared, their mouth slightly open in shock. "Uh... okay? I mean, you don't have to-"

"I don't think you get it, Y/n," He interrupted, pacing now as he vented. "HOME is always hungry for more attention, more prayers, more sacrifices. It's like, I can't even have a day off. And the followers? Oh, don't get me started on them! They're all so willing, so easily led, like litteral little puppets—no offense." he added, gesturing to his own puppet self. "But you? You're not like them. You actually say 'no,' and it's... it's refreshing! But also incredibly annoying! Do you know how hard it is to convince you?"

They stood there, unsure of whether to be flattered or to make a run for it. "Uh, I can imagine?"

Priest threw his hands up. "And don't even get me started on the confessions! Day in and day out, I have to listen to every single villager confess their sins, and it's always the same thing! 'Oh Priest, I accidentally broke a plate today,' or 'Priest, I thought a bad thought about my neighbor.' It's like, who cares?! Can't someone have an interesting sin for once?"

...

...

Why is he venting to you. Go back to your church-

The human blinked again, trying to process this sudden and very bizarre venting session from the lunatic puppet, thinking of how to get out of here asap.

"Well, I mean, uh, running a cult sounds like a lot of work..."

"It is a lot of work!"

Priest Let out a enraged shout, stopping mid-pace to stare at Y/n with wide eyes, as if they had finally understood the burden he carried.

"You'd think being a cult leader would have its perks, but nooooo! It's just endless responsibilities! Sacrifices, ceremonies, pretending I know what HOME really wants, spoiler alert, I have no idea! I just keep throwing apples at the shrine and hoping for the best!"

Y/n took a step back, awkwardly glancing around, wondering if there was any immediate way to escape this conversation. "Wow, that sounds... rough. Maybe you should, like, take a break? Or delegate some of the work to someone else?"

Priest groaned dramatically, rubbing his temples. "I wish! But no one else can do it like I do. And I can't just stop, Y/n! HOME would be furious. And do you know what happens when he is furious? The walls start creaking, the doors slam, it's a whole thing. It's terrifying."

There was definitely some real fear in his voice but it was quickly masked with deep rooted resentment and tiredness.

Y/n's eyes widened. "Uh, yeah, that does sound terrifying..."

Priest leaned in closer, narrowing his eyes as he whispered conspiratorially. "And I'm pretty sure HOME watches me. All. The. Time."

Y/n swallowed nervously, glancing at the church. "Right... well, maybe-"

You could swear there was a large eye from the one of the windows glaring at you both.

Priest straightened up suddenly, brushing off his clothes and putting his cheerful smile back on as if the entire venting session had never happened. "Anyway! Enough about me! I suppose I've kept you long enough, dear neighbor. You should go rest up, and we'll talk more about HOME later, alright?"

Y/n blinked, completely thrown by the sudden switch. "Uh... yeah, sure. Later."

Priest smile brightened again as he waved. "Goodbye for now, Y/n! I'll see you at the next prayer session, whether you like it or not!" He chuckled softly, but there was an edge to his words that sent a chill down their spine.

As they hurried away, eager to put some distance between themselves and the cult leader's erratic behavior, they couldn't help but glance back over their shoulder. He was still standing there, smiling warmly, but his eyes shimmered with something unreadable.

Y/n sighed, shaking their head. "I really need to find a new place to live... but dammit the rent is cheap here."

As they disappeared down the street, Priest smile never faltered, but his voice was soft, barely above a whisper as he watched them go.

"Until we meet again, dear neighbor. Until we meet again."

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(  •͈ᴗ•͈)◞ 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠
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