I sat down on the chair after entering the confession room.
Nabalot ng matinding katahimikan at kakaibang mahika ang loob ng silid habang iniintay ko na magsalita ang makikinig sa kabila.
Pinagdikit ko ang aking dalawang tuhod and patiently tapped my fingers above my knees.
Narinig ko ang malakas na pagsarado ng kung anong klaseng pinto kabila ng harang at may naramdaman akong umupo sa harapan ko na pumapagitan sa akin at sa makakausap ko.
The "person" on the other side sighed deeply before clearing their throat.
"Tell me your confession." Anito sa malalim at mahangin na boses. It's voice was eerie, may kakaiba itong tono at tunog na hindi ko alam kung babae ba ang nagsasalita o lalaki.
Every syllable from his words echoed throughout the whole confession room at nanaig at nanatili sa isipan ko. Parang inaalog ng boses niya ang utak ko at dinadala ako sa ibang lugar gamit ang kakaibang mahika.
It brought chills down my spine na nagpanginig sa akin, the atmosphere around the room suddenly became dark and mysterious.
I cleared my throat as well before speaking.
"In solemn moments of most cold nights, lagi kong tinantanong sa universe ko kung paano ko matuturuan ang puso ko na malimutan ka. I always asked the universe to teach my heart how to unlove you..."
"Yet, the silent whispers from the starry sky was the only response I unfaillingly get. Tila ba na hindi kayang sagutin ng universe ang tanong ko. Ang pagsamo ko. And I guessed silence was already an answer, an enough proof to tell me that I cannot..."
"Because no matter how hard I tried to convince myself that I no longer yearn for you, ikaw at ikaw pa rin ang lagi kong sinisigaw sa tahimik na gabi. I still remained loyal by searching your shadow behind every person that I met. Na kahit anong hirap ko na hindi ka na isipin, no matter how much hard I tried to shut out a thought of you, they were just times that reminded me of stolen moments used to be ours..."
"So to keep my head sane, sinubukan kong pigilan ka na dumaloy sa isip ko. I decided to stop looking behind these stained glass windows. Pero kahit na ganoon, they were so many things I was so afraid of..."
"Afraid of never getting to replace you..."
"Afraid of never getting to find someone like you..."
"And afraid of never forgetting the idea of you..."
"So I prayed to someone holy, nanalangin ako at nagdasal, to bless this heart with unwavering strength. Pinagdasal ko na bigyan ako ng lakas na buuin ko ang sarili ko, na kahit ikaw na paulit ulit na sumisira ay hindi mo na magigiba..."
"And they gave me strength..."
"Sinagot nila ang dasal ko, they gave me the strength to love again. To love someone that is not you. And to be loved by someone that is not you..."
"They granted me my prayers. A love committed with all senses. The crazy electric touches, the fatal scents of pheromones, the huskiness of morning voice, the sight of bared face and naked body, the sweet aftertaste of lips touching, and the hollow indentations of bed sheets..."
"They gave me my prayers, and I found myself deeply in love. In love that is driven by passion and need. A love without you..."
