Girls Love Beyoncé

88

THIRD POINT VIEW

When Beyoncé felt like her life was falling apart, one thing she did was write. When words refused to leave her lips, when speaking felt like betraying herself, she wrote.

Her hand moved furiously across the paper, ink sliding with a desperate beauty. If she didn't like it, she'd crumple it and throw it across the room.

But right now... she was consumed by anger.

Her chest ached. Her mind spun. Everything screamed at her that she was alone. That she'd be alone. That she would have to do this carry this baby—alone. And the one person she wanted, the one person who had promised her she'd be there? Gone. Off somewhere, doing... who knew what.

Did she even care she'd left Beyoncé by herself? Again.

She was furious. Furious and heartbroken. Furious that she loved someone who didn't show up when it mattered.

Furious that she cared so damn much while Onika—Onika didn't. Didn't answer. Didn't check. Didn't fight for her.

Beyoncé's mind raked over every memory. The way Onika had been so gentle with kids. The way she lit up when Solange smiled.

That rare, perfect patience... it had always been there. She cared. But when it came to Beyoncé, when it mattered the most, none of that counted.

She sobbed, knees drawn tight to her chest, pressing her face into them. Anger and sorrow mixed into a bitter taste in her mouth.

She felt insane, untethered. How could someone she trusted so much leave her like this? Again. Over and over.

She said she wouldn't stop fighting. Had a speech about how she'd be there for her. How she'd do better. Have boundaries.

How she respected her. It was bullshit in a damn box and Beyonce ate it every single time. She didn't know what to do differently or what to say. She was Beyonce mad words couldn't describe the feeling she felt.

She was full of resentment.

She was hurt. Lonely. Abandoned. She wanted to forgive and forget. Thought this time would be different... but it wasn't. It was the same cycle and she was over it.

Onika didn't answer a single text. Or even a phone call. What's the point of a phone you aren't going to use it?

She groaned thrashing around on her bed. Pillows falling crumbled paper rolling onto the floor. What was she to do? Spam Onika with I'm pregnant text?

It would be better to say in person but there was radio silence. The last time she texted was when she said she was on the way.

That was two days ago...  since they it's like Onika's phone didn't exist. She had one week in Houston but the week was practically over.

Beyoncé had three days until Thanksgiving break was up and it was back to classes.

She didn't want to sit around for anyone. Was this how her baby would be treated?

Maybe: Onika

Tuesday 10:00 AM

:Solange and I had a good time at the aquarium.

:thank you for bringing us.

: I think our conversation was really needed...

Maybe: O
I agree I'm glad we did it.

Don't thank me.