Girls Love Beyoncé

65

THIRD POINT OF VIEW

It was early in the morning when Beyoncé left the house. The sun wasn't up yet, and everything felt quiet. She didn't know exactly why she was going to the hospital—she just knew Mama Carol was there, and somehow, she needed to see her.

She was tired. Exhausted, really. But through the fog in her mind, one person kept coming up. One face she couldn't stop thinking about.

She picked up some flowers on the way and drove without music, just silence and heavy thoughts.

By the time she reached the hospital, her hands were cold and her heart was full of questions she didn't know how to ask. Still, she walked through the doors, straight to Carol's room like she'd done it a hundred times.

She stood outside the door for a moment, unsure. Then she knocked.

"You can come in, Beyoncé," Mama Carol laughed, seeing the young girl standing just outside her hospital door.

Beyoncé smiled faintly, a bouquet of flowers in hand, and stepped into the room. She set the flowers down before pulling up a chair. Sitting, she hesitated—unsure where to begin.

"I— I haven't been able to sleep," she said, clearing her throat and fidgeting with the seam of her jeans.

"Every time I close my eyes, she's there. And she's not how I left her, no. She's not angry. She's not cold. She's not screaming that she'll hurt them in defense of me."

"She's... calm. She listens when I talk. She loves me. Holds me. Kisses me." Her voice cracked as her eyes dropped to the ring on her finger, tears gathering. She wiped her nose, trying to hold herself together.

"I love her so much. It's taking everything in me not to call her. But at the end of the day, this is on me. I promised you I'd watch out for her."

Carol shook her head slowly, gently, as Beyoncé continued.

"I promised I'd take care of her. I promised I'd teach her how to be kind to herself. I told Waka I'd help keep her grounded. But in the end... I think I drove her mad."

"Baby girl, you're wrong," Carol said softly, reaching from her bed to take Beyoncé's hand. Her touch was warm, steady.

"You promised me you would try—and you did. Real love only grows when both people are willing to be vulnerable. And she wasn't. You did everything you could, baby, but this isn't all on you. Onika has to face her own reflection. She wasn't willing to be honest with herself, to admit she was hurting."

She gave Beyoncé's hand a gentle squeeze.

"I told you never to dim your light for anyone. And even if she didn't mean to, the way she treated you? It dimmed you. That's something you should never have to go through—not for love."

Carol paused, watching the emotion ripple through Beyoncé's face before continuing.

"Onika was raised to believe vulnerability was weakness. Her father made sure of that. When she cried, she got silence. When she needed softness, she got steel. That's part of why I left him—why I protected her the best I could. But those scars, they run deep."

"So now? She isolates instead of asking for help. She buries her guilt instead of apologizing. She wants love more than anything—but pushes it away because she's sure she'll ruin it. She's trying to survive. But in the process, she's tearing down the very things that could've saved her."

"She loves you more than she knows how to say, Beyoncé. Just by her actions alone, it shows."

Beyoncé blinked through her tears. "Then why does it feel like she chose the pain over me?"

Carol sat back, her gaze full of knowing. "Because pain is familiar. Love? Love is terrifying when you've never known it safely."

Beyoncé looked down, twisting the ring on her finger again. Her voice came out small. "I don't know if I can forgive her."

"That's fair," Carol said gently.

Beyoncé's brows furrowed. "I mean, I want to. God, I want to. I want to run back and pretend none of it happened. But that doesn't fix anything. That doesn't erase what she said. Or what she didn't say. The way she shut me out, like I was the enemy."

"She's not the only one that's hurt, Mama Carol. I'm hurting too. I'm angry. I'm confused. And part of me is scared—scared that if I let her back in, it'll happen all over again."

Carol nodded slowly, eyes never leaving Beyoncé's. "And that's the part you have to listen to."

She reached again, resting her hand on Beyoncé's.

"It's not about whether I forgive her. Or Waka. Or anyone else. It's about you. You get to decide, baby girl. If forgiving her gives you peace, then do it. If staying away protects your light, that's okay too."

Carol's voice was calm, but firm. "You can love someone and still choose yourself."

Beyoncé swallowed hard. "But what if we do try again? What if I let her in—and she hasn't changed?"

"Then you'll be right back here. And it'll hurt worse," Carol said, not unkindly. "That's why if y'all decide to try again, real change needs to happen. Not just words—actions. Therapy. Honesty. Boundaries. Accountability."

"Whatever love y'all are holding onto... it has to grow. Or it won't last."

Beyoncé nodded, wiping her eyes. "I don't want to keep chasing a version of her I made up in my head."

"And you shouldn't," Carol said. "Love her for who she is, not who you hope she'll be. And if that's not enough for you—that's okay."

The silence that followed was thick, but not heavy. Beyoncé breathed through it. Sat with it.

And for the first time in weeks, she felt the tiniest bit lighter.

-
Excuse any mistakes.

Juthescisntist🫠

might double update...