Illicit Love

Kabanata 9

Nasa study room kaming dalawa ni Rahim. Tinutulungan ko siyang gumawa ng assignment niya. Hindi pa raw niya natatapos at kailangan na itong ipasa sa lunes. Nagpapatulong siya sa Ate Solanna niya, pero hindi raw siya pinansin nito. Kahit talaga sa kapatid niya, nagagawa niyang magsungit at magsuplada.

"You're so smart talaga, Ate Zari! Ang galing, tapos na natin," sabi niya habang namamanghang nakatingin sa sinagutan niyang booklet.

Ngumiti ako ng matamis habang ginugulo ang buhok niya. "Wala naman akong ginawa, e. Tinuro ka lang naman, pero ikaw ang gumawa kaya ikaw ang magaling."

He responded with nothing more than a slight, melancholic smile and an indifferent shrug of his shoulders. "I sometimes wish you were my sister, Ate Zari," he admitted, his voice tinged with sorrow as his eyes remained riveted to the book in his hand.

I remained silent, my gaze fixed on him, as I could intensely sense the sorrow and sadness emanating from his voice. His feelings were completely valid, and I understood his inner turmoil perfectly.

He is, after all, still just a young boy who deeply cherishes and is profoundly dependent on the affection, care, and constant presence of his parents and siblings. I could perceive this underlying vulnerability through his subtle expressions and every hesitant action.

Who wouldn't desire to be nurtured, noticed, and enveloped by their own family? It is a fundamental human need, isn't it? Everyone, I believe, craves that sense of attention, validation, and unconditional love.

Huminga ako ng malalim. Nilagay ko ang kamay ko sa braso niya at marahan siyang hinimas doon. "I'm your ate naman talaga, ah? Hindi mo na kailangang magwish, because even we're not sisters in blood, I am and you can still treat me as your ate, Rahim," nakangiting sabi ko sa kanya para kahit papaano ay gumaan ang loob niya.

Saglit akong natigilan nang maramdaman ang pagdantay ng ulo niya sa dibdib ko, pero hinayaan ko lang siya. Marahan kong hinaplos ang buhok niya para kahit papaano ay hindi niya maramdamang nag-iisa siya. Alam kong kahit na bata pa lang siya, naiintindihan niya na ang mga ganitong bagay.

"Hmm, Ate Zari... I'm wondering, am I difficult to love? I truly don't understand why everyone seems to be so busy or unavailable whenever I try to spend time with them... I particularly wish to bond with my sister, Ate Solanna, but she is consistently distant and quite cold towards me. I just can't seem to grasp the reason for it."

Hindi ako nakaimik. Napakurap ako habang prinoproseso ang sinabi ni Rahim. Ako ang nasasaktan para sa kanya. Ang bata pa niya para magtanong at makaramdam ng ganitong bagay.

I cleared my throat. "O-Of course not, Rahim. You are, without a doubt, the most lovable kid I have ever had the pleasure of meeting... Please, never entertain the thought that you are anything less than that, alright? Perhaps your parents are simply consumed by their work because they are diligently striving for your future and your well-being. When the time comes, and you are older, you will certainly understand what I mean." And I hope he is, but knowing him, he will. He's brilliant kid. He will understand it.

"I know and I understand... but sometimes I can't stop thinking those things, Ate Zari."

Hindi na ako nagsalita at niyakap ko na lang siya ng mahigpit. Ayaw ko ng dagdagan pa ang bigat na nararamdaman niya. Ilang sandali pa, dahan-dahan akong kumalas sa yakap nang may naisip ako.

Wala pa rin ang parents niya hanggang ngayon. Sa Martes pa ang dating nila. Wala rin si Ma'am Solanna at maagang umalis kanina kaya kaming dalawa ang nandito sa bahay.

"Gusto mo bang kumain ng ice cream habang nanonood ng movie, Rahim?" nakangiting tanong ko sa kanya.

Lumiwanag agad ang mukha niya at masayang tumango. "Sige, Ate Zari! I love that!"