Illicit Love

Kabanata 32

"How about you, Naia... Kamusta kayo ni Dr. Hernandez?" nakangising tanong ko sa kanya.

Ngumiti rin siya pabalik sakin. "Okay naman kami. Of course, hindi naging madali para samin. Marami rin kaming naging pagsubok. Hindi naman mawawala sa isang relasyon ang away at misunderstading, but we manage. It's been nearly five years, and honestly, we're stronger than ever," she said proudly. There was a glimmer of genuine love in her eyes that made my heart sink. Seeing her that happy triggered a bitter sting of envy that I struggled to push down.

"Really? I'm happy for you, Naia. You deserve it..." mahinang sabi ko.

Binalot kami ng katahimikan. Umiwas ako ng tingin sa kanya para tumingala sa madilim na langit. Natatakpan ng makapal na ulap ang mga bitwin kaya madilim ang buong paligid. Kung hindi lang sa bonfire, wala kaming ilaw ni Naia.

"How about you, Zariah...? Are you happy?"

Her question caught me off guard, leaving me momentarily speechless. I could only stare at her, my mind spinning as I tried to process the weight of those three words. Was I happy? I told myself I was. Seeing my mother and my siblings finally content brought me a sense of fulfillment. And then there was Solanna—knowing she's okay now was enough. I convinced myself that their happiness was my own, because at the end of the day, their well-being is the only thing that has ever mattered to me.

"Oo naman, Naia... I-I'm happy." Pinilit kong ngumiti bago siya unti-unting nilingon.

"Hmm... I'm really curious to ask this, Zariah... Boyfriend mo ba talaga 'yong DJ sa club?" nakataas ang kilay na tanong niya sakin, pero hindi nakatakas sakin ang ngisi sa kanyang labi.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa tanong niya. Umiling ako. "Of course not! Sino naman nagsabi sayong boyfriend ko si Collean? He's just my friend, Naia. Masyado akong busy sa trabaho para harapin ang mga ganyang bagay."

"Oh, yeah! Speaking of your work—you have no idea how jealous I almost was of this 'Engineer Bautista,' never dreaming for a second that it was actually you! Damn it, I still can't wrap my head around it... that you are the Engineer Bautista! The legendary Engineer Bautista responsible for all those groundbreaking medical research projects!" she said, her eyes fixed on me in utter disbelief.

"Talaga? Ang oa naman sa legendary, Naia. Ako pa rin naman 'to, si Zariah..." nakangising turan ko.

"Ikaw pa rin talaga 'yan... The humble Zariah I know..." Ngumiti siya ng matamis sakin. "Maiba tayo... Hindi pa ready? Oh baka naman kasi... may gusto ka talagang iba?"

Hindi ako nagreact. Nanatili akong nakatitig sa mga mata niya bago ngumiti ng tipid. Gusto kong ikwento sa kanya ang nararamdaman ko para kay Solanna, pero nanatiling nakatikom ang bibig ko. Wala ni isang salitang lumabas. Hindi na rin naman siya nangulit o nagtanong pa.

Nagpaalam na rin kami sa isa't-isa. Naglakad na ako pabalik sa kwarto para maligo. Madilim at tahimik ang buong kwarto kaya nasiguro kong wala si Solanna sa loob. Sa sobrang daming gumugulo sa isip ko, halos isang oras akong tumagal sa banyo.

Mabilis akong nagbihis. Palabas na sana ako ng bahay nang may marinig akong boses sa kung saan kaya natigilan ako sa paglalakad. Sinundan ko kung nasaan ang boses, pero agad ko ring pinagsisihan nang nakita kung kaninong boses 'yon.

"You're really corny, don't you? I'm okay... Yes, of course... How about you? How are you?"

I remained hidden in the shadows of the house, eavesdropping on her conversation. From where I stood, I had a clear view of her. I could see the sweet, radiant smile on her face as she spoke to whoever was on the other end of the line. A heavy weight settled in my chest. She looked genuinely happy. God damn it. Could I really endure this—watching that light in her eyes and that smile on her lips, knowing it was all because of someone else?