Illicit Love

Kabanata 37

Hindi ako nakareact kaya hindi ko namalayang naglakad na siya palapit kung nasaan ang sasakyan. Bago pa siya makapasok ng sasakyan, hinapit ko siya palapit sakin.

She gasped, her eyes mirroring her surprise when she fell against me, our bodies pressing together. Our faces were so close that I could feel every wisp of her warm breath brushing against my lips. A powerful surge of temptation washed over me, a desperate urge to lean in and kiss her right then and there. But I held back, forcing myself to exercise restraint. I couldn't cross that line—not until I confirmed the one thing I needed to know.

"What do you mean...?" namamaos na bulong ko habang nakatitig ng diretso sa mga mata niya.

I pulled her even closer, drawing her in until I could feel the radiant heat of her body pressing against mine. In her warmth, my restless spirit finally found a sense of peace. After the relentless chaos that had ravaged my heart and mind over the past months and years, it was nothing short of a miracle to find such profound solace in her arms. In this fleeting moment, nothing else mattered—not the world, not the past—only the woman I held. She was my only priority, a sanctuary far removed from the harshness of our reality. Even though I knew this was only temporary, I didn't care. If escaping was the only way to keep her, I was ready to spend a lifetime as a fugitive, as long as I was with her.

"You're smart enough to understand exactly what I mean, Zariah," she said, her expression darkening. She spoke with a heavy seriousness that made it impossible to look away.

Marahan akong tumawa. Hindi ako makapaniwala. Hindi ko rin alam ang dapat na maramdaman ko. Kung matutuwa ba ako o kakabahan. Nakakatakot dahil alam kong mali, pero bakit ang saya ko? Tangina. Sa oras na malaman kong gusto niya rin ako, hindi ako magdadalawang isip na agawin siya sa fiancé niyang hilaw.

"S-So you like me too, Solanna?"

Hindi siya umimik. Gamit ang nangungusap niyang mga mata, tumitig siya ng direstso sakin. Napalunok ako habang hinihintay ang sagot niya. Gusto kong marinig mula sa kanya ang bagay na 'yon. Ayaw kong magconclude lang dahil ayaw kong masakyan. Alam kong kahit na mutual ang nararamdaman naming dalawa, may fiancé pa rin siya. Ikakasal pa rin siya.

"Zariah..."

Pilit akong ngumiti sa kanya bago dahan-dahang kumalas sa pagkakahawak ko sa kanya. Marahan akong tumango bilang senyales na gets ko kahit na hindi siya magsalita.

"Ano pang gusto mong gawin? May gusto ka pa bang puntahan?" mahinang tanong ko.

I finally let go of her. With a heavy heart, I turned and trudged toward the car. I had planned to spend the entire afternoon exploring with her, but the spark was gone—my enthusiasm had completely vanished. A wave of bitterness washed over me as the weight of the truth settled in. It was frustrating and infuriating, yet I was trapped in my own silence because I had no claim to her. It's a pathetic kind of torture to be this hurt and jealous when you have absolutely no right to be. To hell with having "rights."

Walang imik kaming byumahe pabalik ng resort. Habang nagdri-drive, lumilipad ang isip ko sa lahat ng puwedeng mangyari ngayon, bukas, at sa mga susunod pa na mga araw. Alam kong may hangganan ang kasiyahan na 'to. Alam ko, one of these days hahanapin na siya sa kanila. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko sa oras na bumalik na ang lahat sa dati. Natatakot ako sa oras na bumalik na siya sa fiancé niya. Walang kasiguraduhan sa kung anong nangyayari saming dalawa.

Habang nagdri-drive, biglang tumawag si Jewel. May mga kung ano-ano siyang sinasabi about sa latest research na ginawa ko. Natagal ang pag-uusap namin kaya pagkapark ko ng sasakyan sa harap ng suite nakita kong tulog na si Solanna.

"Solanna..." Marahan kong tinapik ang balikat niya para gisingin siya. "We're here. Mamaya ka na matulog," sabi ko.

"Hmm..."