Gwen's Point Of View
We are currently watching a movie when I saw Jarred messaged me. Oh no, I forgot to update him. Ni hindi na nga ako nakapag-reply sa message niya kanina sa akin. Nagtuloy tuloy kasi ang kwentuhan namin kanina sa restaurant hanggang dito sa condo ni Quian. Naligo pa kami at nag-prepare ng snacks for our movie night. We are even drinking red wine.
From: Jarred
Baby, are you alright? You didn't message me. I'm sorry again for being so clingy, nag-aalala lang ako. I miss you.
"Excuse me, my girls. Tatawagan ko lang si Jarred." They all nodded and smiled at me. I know that they can tell the reason that I'm calling Jarred. I want to tell him everything. I need to be honest with him.
Nakaiyak naman na ako kanina sa kanila, siguro naman hindi na'ko maiiyak sa paguusap namin ni Jarred.
As soon as I settled inside the balcony, I immediately called him thru Facetime. Mabilis naman itong sumagot. Naka-pout pa na parang nagtatampo. I laughed.
"Ang arte ha! Sorry nakalimutan kong sumagot sayo kanina, na-busy kami." He's now lying in his bed. 12 am na kasi, malamang ay matutulog na siya.
"Hello, love. I missed you." Malambing na salita nito habang nakayakap sa isang unan. He's topless, buti nalang at naka-cover ang upper body niya.
"I missed you too. Inaantok ka na? Should we just talk tomorrow?" Mabilis siyang umiling at napa-upo pa sa kama niya.
"No, please. Usap muna tayo, baby. Anong ginagawa niyo ng girls?" I smiled at umupo sa isang upuan dito sa balcony ni Quian. Itinayo ko rin ang phone ko sa tabi ng maliit na halaman sa ibabaw ng mesa.
"Nanonood kami ng movie at umiinom ng red wine." I chuckled, napatawa rin siya at nagtuloy tuloy na ang kwentuhan namin hanggang sa napatitig ako sa kanya ng matagal.
"Why, is there something wrong, baby?" I smiled faintly.
"I actually need to tell you something, Jarred." Seryoso kong sagot sa kanya. Mabilis naman ding nag-seryoso ang mukha niya na halatang kinabahan.
"Love naman, kinakabahan ako diyan. Hindi mo naman ako hihiwalayan diba?" Natawa na naman tuloy ako. Paanong hihiwalayan eh wala nalang tayo?
"Ano ka ba! Seryoso kasi. Hindi ba kanina umalis ako saglit, nagsabi ako sayo na bibili lang ako ng kape. Ang totoo, nagkita kami ni Leslie." Napa-kunot naman ang noo nito at akmang magsasalit pero itinaas ko ang kamay ko at naintindihan naman niya ang ibig sabihin nito.
"She messaged me, asking for us to meet. At first, I really didn't want to go but she told me that we need to talk about you, so I went there." I stopped and smiled at him. Kitang kita sa mga mata ni Jarred na naguguluhan siya sa sinasabi ko kaya naman nagpa-tuloy ako at ikinuwento ang buong pag-uusap namin ni Leslie.
"Love, alam mo namang hindi yun totoo, diba? Hindi ko naman siya mahal. Hindi ako sa kaniya magpapakasal." Seryosong salita nito. Tumango ako.
"Thanks for the reassurance. But I think I have to address it within myself, babe. Kasi palagi ko pa rin iniisip na nasira ko yung relasyon niyo. I don't like that kind of feeling."
"Baby, wala kang sinirang relasyon. Wala kaming relasyon nung dumating ka sa buhay ko. We are all aware of that. And I never cheated on her even emotionally, dahil the moment na nalaman kong ikakasal tayo, sinabi ko kaagad sa kaniya at itinigil ko yung panliligaw ko."
"I know, Jarred. But again, hindi ko agad maiaalis yun sa utak ko. Kahit yung mga sinabi niya kanina, nasa utak ko pa rin lahat yon. That's why I wanted to ask you if it's okay for us to have a space muna." Umiwas ako ng tingin sa kaniya. Narinig ko naman ang ingay na dala ng biglaang pag-bangon niya sa kama.
"Baby naman, bakit kailangan ng space? Nasa malayo ako, love. Paanong kailangan mo ng space?" He asked, frustrated.
"Jarred, I promise na pinag-isipan ko 'tong mabuti. Hindi to dala lang ng emotions ko simula kanina. Even before you left for Singapore, I was already thinking about it, mas naging clear lang siya sa utak ko ngayon." Narinig ko siyang napamura sa sarili niya. Napapikit ako ng mariin.
"I knew it, kaya mo 'ko pala ako pinapaalis." I sighed.
"I just felt like it is what we need for now." Mahinang salita ko.
"I'm sorry, love. Can we talk about this in person? Can you not move out from our house? Mag-usap muna tayo, please." It was like he wanted to cry. Narinig kong medyo nanginig ang boses niya. I nodded and looked at him in the eye. I smiled at him.
"Of course, I'll wait for you. Malapit ka na rin namang bumalik, diba?"
"Uuwi na'ko bukas, mag-uusap tayo." I saw him getting his laptop and typing something.
"What? Jarred, I can just wait for you. No need to cancel everything just for us."
"It isn't just for us. Our relationship is my everything, now." Binigyang diin niya ang 'just'. Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. What does he mean by that? It's not like he loves me, right?
"Fine, I'll wait for you. Matulog ka muna for now, okay? I'm so sorry, it was so sudden, ayoko lang na patagalin pa and I really wanted to be honest with you about it."
"Don't be sorry, love. I should be the one apologizing for making you feel that way. I promise, I'll fix this. We'll fix this." I nodded kahit alam ko sa sarili ko na walang kasiguraduhan lahat to. I don't want to lose him but I also don't want to lose myself.
