Gwen's Point Of View
"May problema ba tayo, Gwen? Bakit gusto mo akong umalis mag-isa? Maayos naman tayo kanina, ah?" Agad na tanong ni Jarred nang makasakay kami sa sasakyan niya para umuwi. It's already 11 pm and I must admit, I really feel tired already. Sigurado ay ganoon din siya, given the fact that he's the one driving.
"Wala, Jarred. Sa bahay tayo mag-usap. Sige na, let's go home so we can both rest after we talk." Maayos at mahinahon na sagot ko. Naramdaman ko ang titig niya sa akin kaya naman bumaling na ako sa kanya at ngumiti.
"Please, baby. Let's just go home." I even held his right hand. He sighed and pulled me for a tight hug.
"Okay, love. Let's go home." And he kissed my forehead bago ako pinakawalan at nagsimula nang mag-maneho.
Our ride home was very silent, except for the occasional deep sighs of Jarred. I think he's getting frustrated for not getting an answer from me. Mag-uusap naman kami pag-uwi sa bahay, kailangan ko lang pag-isipan ng mabuti ang mga sasabihin ko.
"Can we talk now, babe?" He asked as soon as he parked his car in our garage. Napatawa ako.
"Jarred, dito talaga? Ayaw mo sa loob ng bahay?" Natatawang tanong ko. Pwede naman kasi kami sa loob ng bahay mag-usap, bakit dito pa talaga sa sasakyan niya? Talagang sineryoso yung sinabi kong pag-uwi namin tsaka kami mag-uusap.
"Baby, don't play with me like this, please. Natatakot ako sa sasabihin mo, kaya gusto ko na malaman kaagad." Naka-nguso niyang sagot. I smiled at him.
"Ano ka ba, para namang palalayasin kita sa bahay." Biro ko pa. Mas lalo naman syang napa-simangot kaya hinawakan ko na ang kanang kamay niya.
"Okay, pag-usapan natin yung ina-alok sayo ng dad mo. I want an honest answer, do you want to do it?" He sighed.
"I'd like to train abroad, love. But I don't want to leave you here." I smiled. This is what I like about Jarred, he's very honest.
"And I want you to do it, too. Babe, magandang opportunity 'yun." Umiling siya.
"Ayokong maiwan ka dito, Gwen. That's why I'm asking you to come with me." Mas seryosong sagot niya. Tumango tango ako, a sign that I understand him.
"I get your point, but I'd like to stay here while you're in Singapore. Ayokong maka-abala sayo. I'm sure, aasikasuhin mo lang ako while I'm there."
"That's right, aasikasuhin kita pero hindi ka kahit kailan magiging abala sa akin. Magkasama or magkahiwalay man tayo ng lugar, palagi parin kitang iisipin, palagi kitang aalalahanin. Isn't it better for you to just go with me? Pwede kang mag-gala habang nasa training ako and then we'll eat dinner together when I get home." I can sense the hope in his voice. I smiled so widely. Aaminin ko, kinilig ako sa nga sinabi niya. How I wish we can stay like this forever. But I want him to see options, to see that his life isn't just about me or us. I want him to decide to marry me after being away for a long time. In that way, we can say that we really want to be together, and not just because we were used to being together all the time.
"I understand, Jarred. I'd like to be with you, too. However, I'd like for us to be away from each other for a while." Narinig ko ang malakas na pag-singhap niya at mabilis niya akong iniharap sa kaniya, while still making sure that I wasn't hurt.
"What, love? Did I hear you right? Why would you like for us to be apart?" Nagpa-panic nang tanong niya. Hinaplos ko ang kamay niya habang hawak ko parin ito.
"Hindi naman tayo maghi-hiwalay kasi unang una, hindi naman tayo mag-boyfriend at pangalawa, literal na magka-layo ang sinasabi ko. Physically away from each other lang. We'll still communicate regularly. Singapore and Philippines has the same time zone so it won't be hard for us." Tinitigan niya akong mabuti, na parang naghahanap ng isang bagay na hindi niya makita.
"Ayaw mo na ba sakin?" He asked that made me still. Hindi agad ako naka-sagot dahil hindi ko alam kung saan niya kinuha yung tanong niya. Kaso mukhang lalo siyang kinabahan dahil ang tagal ko bago maka-sagot.
"Don't answer, I don't want to hear it." And there, mukhang maling sagot ang nasa isip niya. Inaya niya na'kong lumabas ng sasakyan at pinagbuksan pa ng pintuan pero nauna naman siyang maglakad papasok sa bahay. Mukhang nag-tampo na.
Agad ko siyang sinundan nang pumasok siya sa kwarto niya. Nagulat siya nang makitang kasunod niya ako. Nang akmang papasok siya sa banyo ay mabilis ko siyang hinawakan sa braso at iniharap sa akin. Mukhang masyado na siyang mahina at pagod dahil madali ko itong nagawa.
"Love, mali yung nasa isip mo. Hindi ko gustong pumunta ka sa Singapore dahil ayaw ko sa'yo. Gusto ko lang na magawa mo yung gusto mong gawin doon, without me. I'll still marry you when you get back, ayun ang usapan natin, hindi ba? But at least in this case, we'll still have more time to think." Hindi ko na napigilan na sabihin.
"Think of what? Kung gusto mo parin ba akong pakasalan? At iniisip mo ba na sa loob ng dalawang buwan, magbabago ang isip ko, Gwen? Na hindi na kita pakakasalan pag-balik ko?" May galit nang tanong niya. I sighed and hugged him. I felt how he stiffened from my move.
"Jarred, bata pa tayo, marami pang pwedeng mangyari. Let's not close our doors to changes. We're good friends, right? I want you to go because I want you to excel with everything that you do." Yumakap siya pabalik sa akin at hinalikan ang ulo ko.
"Let's talk again tomorrow. Pagod na tayo pareho." Agad akong tumango.
"Okay, love. Good night." Malambing na sagot ko. Aalis na lang din naman siya, might as well express my feelings honestly.
Inilayo niya ako sa kanya at mabilis na hinalikan sa noo at pisngi. I smiled, my heart is so full.
"Good night, love. Dito ka nalang matulog?" His eyes are hoping. Tinawanan ko naman at hinampas sa braso.
"Ayoko, bawal." He pouted.
"Why? Matutulog lang tayo." Pangungulit niya pa na may kasamang nakaka-asar na ngiti. Ang gwapo.
"Kaya nga, pwede naman nating gawin ng magka-hiwalay, diba?"
"Fine. I'll try my luck tomorrow." And he hugged me again.
"Not gonna happen." I teased him and he groaned as I laughed.
