I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) - A Tayvis Story

Bigger Than the Whole Sky

TW

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Travis quickly changed into his shorts and laid out a blanket and mat, making himself comfortable as they sat in a secluded spot, far enough away from prying eyes.

Travis could sense the shift in Taylor as they sat on the beach, the rhythmic crash of the waves a soothing backdrop to the heaviness of their conversation. She had been quiet for a while, staring out at the horizon, her eyes distant. The sun was beginning to set, casting a soft golden light over the water, but Taylor's expression remained clouded, lost in memories she hadn't yet shared.

Finally, after an endless stretch of time, Taylor broke the quiet. Her voice was barely above a whisper, but the rawness in it cut through the peaceful atmosphere. "Do you remember when I told you there was something that made me think things would get better with Joe?"

Travis nodded, his heart tightening. He had a feeling he knew where this was going, but he waited, giving her the space she needed.

Taylor kept her gaze fixed on the water, her fingers absentmindedly tracing circles on the blanket beneath them. "I was pregnant."

The words hung heavy in the air. Travis's breath caught in his throat, but he remained silent, knowing that this was Taylor's moment to share her pain. He watched as her shoulders tensed, her whole body trembling under the weight of what she was finally allowing herself to reveal.

"She was... my everything," Taylor continued, her voice faltering as the memories came flooding back, raw and unfiltered. "I thought... I thought the baby would fix things. That Joe would find a reason to hold on. We'd come here, sit on this very spot, and talk about our future, about her. I really believed... she'd be our fresh start."

Travis swallowed hard, his eyes stinging with unshed tears as he leaned in just slightly, his voice soft but steady. "Her?"

Taylor's lips twitched into the faintest of smiles, though her eyes brimmed with tears. "Hope Lanae," she whispered, the name laced with both love and loss. "I wanted to name her what she was to me... my hope, my calmness. She was bigger than the whole sky."

Travis's chest tightened as he repeated the name, his voice filled with reverence. "Hope Lanae... it's beautiful, Tay."

Taylor nodded, wiping at her tears with the back of her hand. "She was beautiful," she whispered, her voice breaking. "And I thought... I thought she would be the thing that brought us back together. Joe seemed happy again, like the old him. He started smiling, started talking about our future with her... but it was all an illusion. I didn't realize how broken he still was. I was so caught up in wanting to believe it that I missed all the signs."

Travis reached out, taking her hand in his, squeezing gently. He didn't say anything yet—he knew that just holding her hand might be enough for now, grounding her in the present as she unraveled the pain of her past.

"I lost her," Taylor's voice cracked, her fingers trembling in his. "When the accident happened... it took everything. I lost Joe, and I lost Hope. My whole world shattered in one day. I never thought I'd be able to breathe again. I didn't know how to keep going."

Her breath caught in her throat as the memories surged back, raw and overwhelming. "After I lost her, I couldn't bring myself to come back here. This place... it wasn't just the beach anymore—it became a reminder of everything I'd lost." Her voice trembled, and she wiped at the tears slipping down her cheeks, though it didn't stop them from falling. "I couldn't even look at my guitar, the one I shared so many memories with Joe. It was like every time I saw it, I saw him, saw us—everything we used to have." She paused, her voice cracking. "I thought... if I smashed it, if I destroyed it, maybe the pain would shatter too. But all it did was leave me with more broken pieces to carry. It didn't fix anything. It just made everything hurt more."

Travis remained quiet for a long moment, absorbing her words. Then, gently, he said, "Maybe this place doesn't have to just remind you of loss. Maybe it could be the place where you feel her... where you talk to her. Hope's still with you, Tay. You might not see her, but she's here, listening to you, even now. She's hearing her mama speak."

The word "mama" broke something loose inside Taylor. Her sobs came hard and fast, and she couldn't hold them back any longer. The grief she had buried for so long poured out of her like a dam that had finally burst. Travis immediately pulled her into his arms, holding her close as she cried, his voice a soft, soothing whisper in her ear. "You were her mom, Tay. You still are. And I know, I know she felt every bit of the love you had for her."

Taylor clung to him, her body shaking with the force of her sobs. "I wanted so badly to be her mother," she choked out, her voice muffled against his chest. "I never got to hold her... never got to see her face. But I talked to her every day. I told her everything... all the things I wanted for her."

Travis stroked her hair, his voice thick with emotion. "She heard you, Tay. And she still does. You were her mom, and that will never change."

Hearing Travis say that—acknowledging her as a mother—broke something even deeper inside her. She cried harder, the pain of that recognition washing over her in waves, but it was also healing in a way she hadn't expected. Travis held her through it all, never loosening his embrace, letting her know that he wasn't going anywhere.

"I'm sorry," Taylor whispered through her sobs. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I'm sorry I couldn't save her."

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Travis murmured, his hand still stroking her hair, his voice gentle but firm. "You did everything you could. And Hope... she knew that. She knows that."

They stayed like that for what felt like hours, the sound of the ocean and Taylor's quiet sobs filling the space around them. Travis held her tightly, offering his steady presence as she let the pain flow through her, no longer fighting it.

After a long while, Taylor finally pulled back, her face swollen and red from crying.

"Thank you," she whispered, her voice trembling but full of sincerity. "For being here... for listening."

Travis wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb, his expression full of warmth and understanding. "I'll always be here, Tay. You'll never have to carry this alone again."

Taylor smiled faintly through her tears, the edges of her lips curving up in a small, fragile smile, but it was real. "Hope," she whispered softly, almost to herself, as if saying the name aloud gave her strength. "She was... bigger than the whole sky."

"And she still is," Travis added, his voice full of reverence.

Taylor nodded, a sense of peace washing over her as she gazed out at the water. "Yeah... she still is."

As the sun continued its slow descent, casting a warm golden glow over the waves, Taylor allowed herself to breathe deeply for the first time in years. The pain was still there, but it didn't feel as unbearable as it once had. And as she sat beside Travis, she realized that she didn't have to carry it alone anymore.

Maybe, just maybe, she could start to heal.

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This definitely goes to my fav chapters list

(Miami n2 mashups killed - IDSB x should've said no and loml x white horse😭😭😭)

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Thanks for reading