Missing and extended scenes of Wheel of Time - TV series

2x04 (Story D - Emotions) - Weaknesses

Quote: "What about Moiraine? What does she want?" (Ihvon)

After talking to Ihvon, Lan thinks about Moiraine again and remembers situations when she showed different sides of herself. Lan remembers a moment of weakness of Moiraine.

Slowly, Lan strolled through the village. He was tired and exhausted. How many times would Alanna and her Warders try to talk to him about Moiraine? He knew they all wanted to help him, but the conversations confused him more than he found answers. Because I can't talk to the one person I really want to talk to.

He didn't want to think about what Moiraine was doing or how she would react if he returned to her. The Malkieri didn't want to think about what he was feeling and if he should follow his heart to be with Nynaeve. All that thinking – all those endless possibilities – was driving him crazy.

It's something she said. You keep saying it to yourself over and over. A thousand cuts for her one.

Ihvon was definitely the most dangerous one of the trio. The man wasn't as energetic as Alanna and Maksim. He was the quiet one who thought before talking – like Lan. Because of that, it was easier for him to really see and listen. Ihvon had a better understanding of what was going on in Lan's head.

He had seen that the Malkieri's thoughts had been spiraling around the Cairhien woman's last words – that it was eating him alive. Alanna or Maksim hadn't seen that.

We are not their equals, Lan. We're not supposed to be.

Surprisingly, it had taken Ihvon's clarification to make Lan realize how naïve he had been. Warders weren't equals to Aes Sedai – they never could be. Aes Sedai... had the One Power at their fingertips. They were bound by the three oaths, which was why having a Warder by your side was a good thing. The Aes Sedai could only fight back when their life was in danger, the life of her Warder or another Aes Sedai.

How many times had it been he who had to protect Moiraine because she had to wait for the attack? How many times would she have died if he hadn't killed her opponent? An Aes Sedai was powerful but not invincible.

Was that what Moiraine had meant? Had she twisted her words again by answering him? Light, he should know better than not to notice when she used her words against him! He was her Warder for twenty years!

Fool! You simply asked her to confirm that she has never seen you as an equal! And when she confirmed it, you didn't question her what she meant exactly. 'We've never been equals' can have many meanings, and I don't know in which situation she didn't see us as equals.

Frustrated, Lan buried his fingers in his long hair. He couldn't believe that he had been that stupid. After months of staying by Moiraine's side – after enduring every harsh word and her cold shoulder – he had finally made a mistake, allowing his Aes Sedai to leave without him.

The rest of the world only sees their power. We see their weakness.

Moiraine's weaknesses. Oh, he knew them very well. Lan smiled when he thought about his Aes Sedai's stubbornness. How many times had they argued about something because she had tried to get her way, even if it meant danger for her? And, of course, she had won most of the time. The Malkieri couldn't deny her anything if there was even a tiny chance they could survive it. Sometimes, it had been close, but they had always managed to escape somehow.

Yet, there had been moments when she had been angry with him for not giving her what she wanted because it had been too dangerous in his eyes. In those moments, she had masked the bond and didn't speak to him at all – not even looking at him as if he didn't exist. Luckily, she had always come to her senses when night fell, letting him back in and planning the next day with him. She had known the worst punishment for him was her masking the bond. Not the silence between them or that she wouldn't look at him, but the absence of feeling her.