Missing and extended scenes of Wheel of Time - TV series

1x05 (Story C) - Nightmare

The pain was unbearable. The stupid handle of the axe was stuck in her stomach, but it was nothing against the cut at her throat. Only that it wasn't her throat. Moiraine turned her head and her eyes fell on her Warder, who was lying beside her. The blood was splattering out of the deep cut, while he was gasping for air. He was dying!

Shocked, the Aes Sedai felt how Lan's presence in her mind faded quickly. It wouldn't take long anymore, and she wouldn't be able to feel him anymore. Although the pain was paralyzing her body, she forced herself to roll on her side and reached out her hand toward Lan. She was so close! A few more inches and she would be able to reach him!

But when she tried to rob toward him, she noticed that she couldn't move. Her body wasn't listening to her! From the corner of her eye, Moiraine saw two feet, who stepped beside her. Then Logain Ablar, the false Dragon, moved into her sight when he crouched down between her and Lan.

"It must be an awful feeling. To be so close to him, but you just can't reach him."

Silent tears ran down Moiraine's cheeks, while she tried to move her arm further in Lan's direction. She wouldn't let him die! She couldn't! Not Lan!

Lan's eyes turned to her, and her throat tightened when she saw the pain in them. Her strong Warder. Her amazing, brave, and incredible Warder. Slowly, his eyes were closing.

"NO!", she screamed, but it was no help. Their bond became weaker with every heartbeat. Lan was almost completely gone from her mind. It wouldn't take long, and his blood would stop running from the cut. "LAN!"

Logain moved his fingers over Lan's throat until they were covered in blood. "It's your fault, you know. He is here because of you. You bonded him all those years ago. You pulled him into your quest. He wouldn't be here without you." Then he pressed his bloody fingers against Moiraine's forehead and moved them over her temple down to her cheek, where Lan's blood mixed with her tears.

Growling, Moiraine increased her efforts to move her arm. She felt as if someone was putting a thousand needles in her arms, but she wouldn't stop. No matter what Logain was telling her. Yes, Lan was here because she had bonded him as her Warder. And yes, this wouldn't have happened to him without her, but this didn't mean that she would give up now. She would do anything for Lan. Even give her own life for his.

But the wheel was working against her. It kept turning and was taking Lan with it. Away from her. 'Not Lan! Please, don't take him from me! Take me, but let him live!' More tears were running down her cheeks.

Logain laughed when he saw how hard she was trying to reach her Warder. "Do you need some help, little Aes Sedai?" The false Dragon grabbed Lan's wrist and placed the hand in front of Moiraine's finger. He was closer now, but still out of reach. But the worst part was that she was still too far away from the actual wound.

A frustrated growl escaped Moiraine's lips, and Logain laughed again. He was taking great pleasure in her desperation. Lan coughed one last time then his eyes closed flattering and he stopped breathing. At the same time, his presence left Moiraine's mind completely.

The woman of the Blue Ajah gasped for air when the loss of her Warder hit her. He was gone! Lan was dead! Dead, because she hadn't been able to save him! She had been too weak to save one of the two people, who meant the world to her!

"So close.", Logain mocked her then he disappeared into thin air.

Finally, Moiraine was able to move again. Trembling, she pulled herself closer to her dead Warder and pressed her hand on his throat. His blood was still flowing, but he had no pulse anymore. 'Oh, Lan. Forgive me.'

Her head fell on his chest and she finally allowed herself to cry. Heart-wrenching sobs were shaking her body, but there was no one, who would dry her tears. No one, who would wrap his arms around her to comfort her. She was alone. Why was the wheel so cruel to her? Wasn't it enough that she was born as a Damodred? Why did it have to take Lan from her? With him, she finally had had a home. A place, where she had belonged and where she had been loved. He had always been there for her, even when he had disagreed with her decisions.