Missing and extended scenes of Wheel of Time - TV series

1x08 (Story B) - Regret

"Goodbye, Moiraine."

With her eyes, the Aes Sedai watched how Rand moved higher and higher until she couldn't see him anymore. Until she couldn't hear his footsteps. And then... she was alone. Standing on the broken sign. Water dripping from above. Alone. Her bond with Lan was still masked, and... Slowly, Moiraine held up her hands. They were dirty and bloody from their walk through the Blight. But she didn't care. It wasn't important.

She closed her eyes, calmed her breathing, and imagined a flower in her mind. Just like they had been taught in the White Tower. But the flower never appeared. No matter how much she tried. She couldn't touch the One Power!

A sob escaped Moiraine's lips, and her hands started to tremble when she realized what this meant for her. The Dark One had cut her off from the One Power forever! She would never be able to channel again!

She sank to her knees and pressed her hands on the sign, which was embedded in the ground. The prophecies had been wrong. The Dragon had fought against the Dark One, but she was still alive. She hadn't died, though someone might say that she had died in a way when the Dark One had stilled her.

Since Rand was a man and used Saidin, Moiraine hadn't been able to see his weaves. She hadn't been able to see what exactly the boy had done. Rand had woken up all of a sudden and had used the sa'angreal she had given him. But had he really killed the Dark One?

And what was she supposed to do now? Should she return to Fal Dara? Would she be able to make Nynaeve and the other Emond's Fielder believe that Rand had died? The Wisdom would never believe her. Not without proof. She would want to see Rand's dead body. At some point, Moiraine was sure that she would tell them the truth. That the Dragon was still alive but had run away on his own. Nynaeve would be furious. Maybe Lan could...

'Lan!' Suddenly, Moiraine realized what else the Dark One had taken from her. The bond with her Warder had been masked, and since she couldn't channel anymore, she also couldn't unmask it! She would never feel him again! His presence would never return in the back of her head! He would never again be able to let her feel his love!

The woman of the Blue Ajah felt how her throat tightened. She had lost her Warder! She had survived the battle, but she had lost the most important person in the world! And she couldn't change it!

Broken, Moiraine lay down on the ground, curled up into a ball, and started to cry silently. She cried for everything she had risked and lost on her way here. Siuan, her home, her powers, and Lan. She was alone.

The night went on, and Moiraine's tears started to dry, though she didn't move. She didn't sleep either. She simply lay there, curled up to a ball, while her thoughts were running. Thinking about a way out of this misery.

Should she return to Fal Dara? Should she face an angry Nynaeve and the others? What if she wouldn't return? Lan already assumed that she would die at the Eye of the World. Would they believe that Rand and she had died here? Would they move on?

None of them knew the way to the Eye of the World. So, it was safe to say that they wouldn't come here in search of them if Rand or she wouldn't return in the next few days. On the other hand, Nynaeve was a very stubborn woman. Moiraine hardly believed that this young girl would stay away. She would try to find the way on her own, no matter how dangerous it was. 'What will you tell her if she finds you? Rand asked me to lie to them. But Nynaeve probably wants to see his body. A body, which I can't show her.'

Maybe she should bring it to an end here. She had assumed that she would die here. The Dark One had stilled her. Lan was gone forever. Why should she keep fighting? Without the One Power, she was useless. A burden to everyone she knew, and with time, she probably would turn suicidal. It was better to end it now.