Clean

rolling doubles and eyes

❀ ʚɞ Adeline ʚɞ ❀

"Secrets I have held in my heart, are harder to hide than I thought"

March 30, 2005

The past few days had been a whirlwind. With Johnny and our family finally home from the hospital, I felt like I had time to relax.

Plus my head was still spinning from my kiss with Gerard.

And the multiple other kisses we'd shared. We'd stayed in Dublin for a few days and I'd snuck into Gerard's room every night. These meet ups consisted of making out and talking about how good it felt to finally kiss. It was like our little secret, except I told Grace and we screamed and jumped up and down for a solid five minutes.

He was all I could think about. Between Johnny and Gerard I had no time to dwell on the bad parts of life. Of course I still had nightmares and terrible thoughts, but I hadn't been able to let them impact me like they usually did.

I hadn't even texted Cassandra because I didn't want it to ruin my mood.

And I was guessing it would.

Talking through my trauma was one of the most difficult things for me. When I had to explain every detail of that night to the police, I threw up everything in my stomach afterwards.

I was glad I had a distraction—that being Gerard—and I was even more glad he didn't push me to talk about it. I knew I was going to have to go through a long process of questioning, preliminary hearings, pre-trials and a whole boat load of other shit. Dad had tried to bring it up when we were in Dublin but mam shut him down instantly.

I was greatful for that because I knew I was in for a world of legal battles. I wanted Stephan to go to jail, I wanted him to rot behind bars but I was terrified of the process that came with that.

Having to tell my story to a court room full of people—my friends and family included—was enough to make me feel dizzy.

I shoved the thoughts out of my mind and rolled the dice in my hands, trying to win the heated game of Monopoly.

"Hah, double sixes," I grinned, reaching over to move the metal dog twelve spaces.

"This is rigged," Declan scoffed, staring at his boat that was stuck in jail.

"You're just shit," Grace stuck her tongue out at him, "My girl Addy will fuck you up."

"Says you, Grace," Declan rolled his eyes, "You've only bought one property and you've got like six dollars to your name."

"Okay, mister fumbled Park Place," She teased.

I looked over to where Johnny was sitting with Park Place and Boardwalk in front of him. But he wasn't paying any attention to the game, his gaze was fixated on Grace.

That's weird...

I knew he'd said a lot when he was high as a kite after surgery but I didn't think he'd actually meant it.

I mentally screamed at Grace to forget about him and to stick with Theo. Although knowing her she'd run the second Johnny asked.

"Roll again, babe," Gerard nudged me, "You got doubles."

I rolled again and got a ten, allowing me to grab the pot of free parking cash.

"You mother fucker," Declan groaned, just as his phone rang, he glanced at the screen and gave it a weird look before heading out of the room to answer it.

"Ger, can you grab me a glass of water," I smiled at him and he nodded.

He then completely caught me off guard by pressing a quick kiss to my lips and then heading towards the kitchen.

"What the fuck was that?" Johnny growled, his eyes snapping to me.

"So," I hummed, "Maybe Gerard and I are kind of together."

I didn't know if together was the right word. He'd never actually asked to be my boyfriend but come on, spending every night for the past few days with his tongue in my mouth was enough to make me believe we were something.

"Together?" He gaped, looking from me to Grace, "What the fuck do you mean together?"

"Slow your roll," Grace sighed, "They've been flirting the bones off each other since first year, you should've known it was bound to happen."

"You knew about this?" Johnny frowned.

"Of course I knew," Grace rolled her eyes, "I'm Addy's best friend."

"And I'm Gibsie's," He gaped.

"Well obviously he wasn't going to tell your whiny ass," Grace laughed, "He knew you'd freak the fuck out."

"I'm not freaking out," Johnnys voice was all high pitched and squeaky.

"He's freaking out," Grace mumbled to me.

"Totally freaking out," I agreed.

"I told you he would," She giggled.

"I didn't think his face would get this pale," I tried to hold back my laughter.

"I'm right bleeding here," He sputtered, looking frantic.

"Yeah, we know," Grace sighed.

"Guys," Gerard burst into the room, looking almost as panicked, if not more, than Johnny.

"What's wrong?" I was quick to ask, jumping to my feet.

"It's Shannon," He replied, "Declan just got a phone call."

And the words that left his mouth shocked me to my core.

Poor Shannon like the river.

———————————————————

i know you guys are going to eat the grace johnny crumbs

i love them all so much

and i love you

xoxo

-Freyja