The Missing Piece Of Our Puzzle

Chapter 33 (filler?)

It's so white...

The snow covers the ground as well as the house and buildings nearby. The chilly air outside is a constant reminder of the holidays approaching. Holidays I will most likely spend by myself.

A text message...

A simple text message from someone who I want out of my life to ruin my whole day. The chill is no longer outside but now in my body. The dread that haunts me with every word I try to ignore.

Deep voices...

The deep voices of those who I still have contact with to help me lift my spirits. To tell them my thoughts and problems. Who try to to keep in touch with me and restart the entire process of our relationship.

Christmas music...

The stores playing the music in the background as I walk through the aisles with Namjoon at my side. Holiday shopping is something I had been pushing off and didn't want to do by myself, so when Namjoon called and asked to help him with groceries, I immediately agreed. I've started having a better relationship with all of my soulmates... except Jungkook...
I just feel like it's a little harder because we knew each other longer even though we didn't know who each other was. The pain he had to go through because of my choices is a constant weight on my mind.
"How about this one?" Namjoon's voice cuts through my thoughts as he holds up a coffee mug with sarcastic writing on it.
I chuckle and nod. "Yoongi would like that."
"I think so too..." Namjoon says as he looks back at the mug, a small dimpled smile on his face. "Also, thank you for coming to help me pick out gifts."
"It's no problem. Better than sitting at home and just staring at my computer screen." I say with a smile as I lift another mug off the shelf to look at.
The look on Namjoon's face tells me he's wanting to say or ask something but is keeping quiet. Seeing as he's hesitant to speak, it must be about my other soulmate.
"Jungkook is still waiting..."
My heart clenched with pain as I heard his words. My grip on the mug tightened as I looked down at it.
"I know... I..." I hesitate to speak as I try to find the right words. "I just feel, like I don't know how to go about it. I want to talk to him, to apologize to him like I did with the rest of you, but what if it hurts him all over again?"
Namjoon stands there and listens to me speak about my worries.
"I don't want to mess this up again, Namjoon. I want to be genuine around you guys, but what if I hurt you guys again?" I say as I set the mug down before I grip onto it too tightly.
"Y/n... I think the only way you could hurt us now is if you left." Namjoon says as he gently grabs my hand.
My eyes look up at him as I feel the warmth of his hand wrap around mine.
"We started to understand your situation with your father, we want to be there for you. But we're afraid to be shut out for good and you leave. I- no, we don't want you to leave us. We've never felt so empty before since we decided to have some time and space." Namjoon says, his deep eyes looking down at me with the rawest emotions I've ever seen.
My breath hitched as I tried to understand his words, the emotions in his eyes. My heart clenched, with pain, guilt, and longing.
"How could you possibly still want me? I'm not saying I don't want to be with you guys, but how can you guys be so forgiving when I can barely forgive myself?" I ask, my hand tightening around Namjoon's.
"Because you're our missing piece." Namjoon says.
He made it sound so easy but the meaning behind it was way more. I look down at our interlinked hands and take a deep breath.
"Let us be a part of your life. Let us help you through the troubles your father continues to put you through. We don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose you."

"Ok..."