Beyond The Leather

Chapter 163: Mugshots Anyone?

I Sat beside Theresa in the circle of folding chairs, my hands clasped in my lap as I listened to the stories being shared. The room had a somber yet comforting atmosphere, the kind that made you feel both exposed and understood at the same time. One by one, people stood and spoke, stories of struggle, relapse, and hope. I stole a glance at Theresa, who sat stiffly beside me, chewing the inside of her cheek. She had been quiet the whole time, but I could feel her tension, the way her fingers trembled slightly against her jeans.

The group leader, a kind-faced woman named Diane, turned her attention to Theresa. "Would you like to share today?" she asked gently.

Theresa hesitated, then nodded. She took a deep breath, pushing her dark curls behind her ear, and stood. "Hi, I'm Theresa," she said, her voice steady but quiet.

The group responded in unison, "Hi, Theresa."

She swallowed and continued, "I've been sober for three years. And I swear, some days, it feels like a miracle." She gave a small, sad chuckle before her expression turned serious. "Lately, though... it's been really hard."

Theresa exhaled slowly before continuing.

"I have an ex-boyfriend. I love him... God, I love him. And I know he needs me, but being around him..." She shook her head. "It stresses me out. And when I'm stressed, all I want to do is use. It's like my brain just flips a switch, and suddenly, I'm back in that place where I think one hit will fix everything." She looked down at her hands, twisting them together. "I don't want to go back there. I can't. But at the same time, I can't just leave him behind either."

She looked up, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

"I don't know what to do. Every time I try to be strong for him, I feel weaker myself. And I hate it. I hate that after three years, this is still so damn hard." She let out a shaky breath. "The only thing keeping me grounded is knowing I have people who care. If I didn't have friends like Iman..." She turned to look at me with a small, grateful smile. "I swear, I'd have lost my mind by now."

Diane nodded, her expression understanding. "Thank you for sharing, Theresa. That took a lot of courage." She let a beat of silence pass before speaking again. "What you're feeling is completely valid. Loving someone doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your well-being. Sometimes, the best way to help someone is by taking care of yourself first. Have you considered setting boundaries with him?"

I smiled thinking to myself about the boundaries advice I gave her.

Theresa sighed and nodded. "I haven't. And I can't because I feel guilty walking away when I know he's struggling."

Diane leaned forward slightly. "Guilt is a powerful thing, but it's not a reason to jeopardize your recovery. You're not abandoning him, you're protecting yourself. And if he truly cares about you, he'll understand that you can't be his savior."

Theresa sat with that for a moment, biting her lip. "I know you're right. It just doesn't make it any easier."

"It never is," Diane said gently. "But you're not alone in this. You have people who love you, and who support you. Lean on them when you need to."

Theresa nodded, her eyes flickering to me again. I reached over and squeezed her hand. "You're doing great," I whispered. She let out a shaky breath and squeezed my hand back.

As the meeting wrapped up, Diane stood up and smiled warmly at everyone. "Thank you all for sharing today. Stay strong, and remember, you're not alone in this."

People started standing, stretching, and chatting amongst themselves. I turned to Theresa, who was gathering her things, but before we could leave, Diane called her name.