Nikki Sixx prys himself on being in the sleaziest dirtiest rock band Motley Crue. He is considered the bad boy of Rock 'n Roll and has a reputation that proves it. He meets the highest-paid fashion model in the world, Iman Darlington who is the comp...
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Iman's POV
I didn't sleep last night at all. I stayed awake looking out the window at absolutely nothing. Since my assault in 87, I have been back home in Canada trying to heal. Last year I missed all of fashion week, photoshoots, events, galas, and interviews. The only thing I did was go out for the filming of my TV series and for the filming of the new movie I was starring in, in January. And that's only because I had already signed a contract. But I didn't even attend the premiere.
My friends and other celebrities were calling me asking me if everything was ok because they hadn't heard from me. I just told them that I needed a break. Tamara and Jess have been coming down to visit me nonstop making sure that I was alright. My sisters helped me to get back on my feet, especially because I refused to leave home; I refused to leave my room. I slept in my mom's bed for the full year. She held on to me tight and never let me go. My sisters on some occasions came and slept in the room as well but on the floor. Just so when I was having nightmares, they could calm me down. After 4 months of being a recluse, I was finally able to take long walks around our neighborhood with my sisters. We just talked and made jokes with each other. There were times when I was scared to step out of my house because I thought he was going to get me. But they assured me that he would never hurt me again.
The physical pain of getting better was hard but eventually, it did subside. I haven't even seen the stab wound on my back yet. However, the emotional pain was going to be there forever. I have trouble looking at myself in the mirror, I don't want anyone seeing my naked body, I hate being alone, I don't like when doors are closed with me in it, I won't sleep in the dark, I have trouble focusing on things because I tend to zone out at times, and I don't trust rock stars or anyone in that line of work.
There isn't a day that goes by where I don't blame myself. Because it is my fault. What kind of girl goes running off with a guy who has always treated her like crap? A stupid one. I know everyone around me always says that it wasn't my fault. I just smile and nod. But it is, and nothing will change that. I knew Nikki was no good, but I was young and naive. I was a fool who watched too many movies and read books about girls running to be with their boyfriends and having things turn out right. In the end, they always make them live happily and in love with each other. But that isn't always the truth. I'm an actor who plays roles like that, so I should have known this.
I had two strong respected women around me who tried to warn me of the dangers of getting mixed up with rock stars who are on drugs. Why don't we teenage girls ever listen when we're told to stay away from something or someone that isn't good for us? What makes us defy the people who are looking out for us and go running towards the people who will only hurt us? It's a question that I have been asking myself. And up till now, I don't have the answer.
I came down to Vancouver with Jess because she said her sister just opened a shop and wanted help with setting it up. I haven't been anywhere since I was assaulted. Jess came down and spoke to my mom and thought it would be a good idea for me to come along and get out of the house. My mom said it would be a good idea seeing as I stayed in my room for most of the time doing nothing. I at first refused because I feared being out and about all over the place. But she said it's a small town and all I would be doing is helping to set up the shop. She said interacting with a couple of her family members would help me to relax a bit. She said it would also help me find myself again. To be honest, I don't even know who I am anymore. I couldn't tell you if you were to ask me. I went from a glamorous beautiful girl wearing the latest fashion to a recluse paranoid ugly girl who wears the same sweatpants every day.
