Crush/Boyfriend Imagines

lil bit shy

You and C/n have been dating for a few weeks now. It was a really nice relationship where you two considered yourselves to be not only lovers but best friends as well. You were constantly laughing your asses off or sharing deep secrets you'd never tell anyone else. It was perfect.

Only one thing was missing.

Getting physical.

Not that you thought sex was the only pillar supporting the relationship. You loved being around C/n, loved having him as your boyfriend and best friend. You trusted him a lot and you knew he did, too. You relied on him and felt safe with him. But he never got more physical other than holding hands and kissing.

Because of which you couldn't help but wonder... Is it me? Is he not attracted to me?

You thought it was out of place, only having kissed even though a month had already passed as you two dated. You had this idea in your head that boys usually jumped at the first chance of getting physical, not liking to wait. And so far you haven't met one who'd prove you wrong.

Until C/n, because he seemed not to want to get physical with you.

So was it your appearance or what? It occupied your mind more than it probably should've.

Besides, you've tried getting physical in the past with him multiple times. You would kiss him, push your tongue in his mouth, circle your hands around his neck and tangle them in your hair... He would return the kiss, but the moment he felt you caressing his neck, pushing yourself more against him, he'd grab you by the waist and pull away gently, turning his head sideways to signal you to stop. You'd get off of him and feel embarrassed for the rest of the day.

You didn't know whether you weren't just being a bad, ungrateful person. But this was one of your needs as a human, no? Moreover you didn't plan to break up with him if he refused, you didn't have a problem with waiting.

You just thought it was weird. It was weird that he didn't show one sign of lust when you kissed him passionately. Were you putting him off somehow?

C/n squeezed your hand. "Whatchu thinking about?"

You shook your head. "It's nothing."

The two of you were hanging around in his house, his parents still at work and you knew they will be returning only after dinner time, so you had plenty of time to spare. It was noon.

"Anything you wanna do?"

"Just chill."

You were laying on his bed facing each other and held hands. You wanted to lean in, to kiss him... or for him to make the first move for once.

Was he telepathic now?

He inched his face closer until you felt his hot breath on your upper lip and pecked your lips. Just a light peck, nothing more, nothing less.

"Chilling sounds good."

As he was about to return to his prior position a bit farther away from you, you kissed him too. He returned the kiss as he squeezed your hand again.

"Y/n," he sighed in between kissing you, his voice breathy.

You shifted on the mattress, hoisting yourself up to lean on your elbows while making C/n turn to lie on his back. You learned over him as you kissed him and he let you. His hands slid up and down your arms before he rested them on your forearms. He scooted slightly upwards to lean against the headboard, giving you a chance to sit down on him.

He kept kissing you back with the same amount of force until you grinded your hips back and forth.

"Y/n," he said again. He refused to meet your eyes and you slumped back.

"Is it me?"

This finally made him look up again and find your eyes. Holding your gaze firmly, he replied, "what? You? Of course not."

You leaned against the headboard next to him and pulled your knees to your chest.

"Do you not find me attractive, that's why you don't ever want to do anything?"

He took your face in his hands as tears of both desperation and embarrassment threatened to fill your eyes. "You look amazing. You're beautiful. And I find you very much attractive, okay?"

"Then why do you never want to-" you felt too ashamed to even finish the question, so you just let it hang in the air hoping he understood the unspoken rest.

"I just..." he searched for the right words, "it's me, alright? I swear there's nothing wrong with you. I'm just... I guess I'm just scared." He closed his eyes and shifted away from you.

Now it was you who touched his cheek and turned his head to you. "Scared? Of what?" you asked carefully.

He looked into your eyes for a few solid seconds before deciding to speak. "I've never done it before."

"Never had sex?"

He nodded.

"But why are you scared of it?" You made sure you didn't give him the idea that you were angry or making fun of him. You were neither. You just wanted to understand him better.

"I... I don't even know myself." He shook his head as he chuckled hopelessly. "Maybe I just want it to be special. Like not just do it on the first occasion or something. I don't know," he shrugged, running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry."

"What? No, no, don't be sorry. I don't mind it. It's totally fine," you reassured him instantly, waving your hands messily in the air in front of you to emphasize it really didn't matter.

"Are you sure? I don't want to let you down." His eyes found yours, full of the question, unsure of himself.

"You're not letting me down. You're all I could've ever asked for and more. I don't mind waiting. In fact, I think it's cute. You wanting to wait. It's not some you see a lot of nowadays." You smiled at him and leaned on his shoulder. "I just thought you didn't find me attractive or something and that's why you didn't want to do it. But it's fine. I don't mind waiting." You wanted to repeat it to him a hundred times so that he would stop feeling guilty. Instead you found his hand and squeezed it, the gesture conveying all the sincerity of your reassurance.

He pecked your lips again. "Thanks."

"Love you."