Classroom of the Elite - Revenge [Cote X OC]

Vol. 5 Chapter 12: Painful Conversation

[Kurushima Pov]

[Wednesday, 3rd February]

After my conversation with Aoki was over I looked a long time at the ceiling. I was immersed in countless of thoughts despite my attempt to calm them down.

But it didn't work.

Today, was surely a different kind of day.

First, my conversation with Ryūen, my short encounter with Hiyori as well, my meeting with Sakayanagi, and then my conversation with Fuka Kiryuin, a prominent 2nd Year student figure.

It didn't count all the talk I received nor how many people were immersed in reading some of the news articles that were from my past.

It's as if everyone is suddenly more interested in me than before.

Well, they are, obviously.

After all, yesterday after school they revealed the articles of my past upon my request.

I had withheld them long enough.

Standing up from my bed I looked at my messy room, where one of the walls was covered with blood stains.

But that wasn't all.

My room was full of clothes lying everywhere on the ground, alongside countless of water bottles and Ramen Boxes stacked up.

I didn't clean up my room that much ever since I spent the whole last week in my room.

After the Mixed Training Camp ended, the next following day was immediately Kaori's birthday. At first, I thought I could be all right, but memories kept flooding inside my mind.

It was painful, and I soon ended up staying home, once again. These kinds of days were the worst.

I felt the most vulnerable when the birthday of someone of my family was approaching.

Just to forget these things I tried everything.

But no matter what I did, what I tried to distract myself with, the memories didn't stop flooding.

It didn't matter if I ate food, watched television, trained, or ended up doing something else entirely.

The memories just didn't want to stop.

At cases like these I resorted to these kind of medications that made me help go through all this, Benzodiazepine.

Normally, I had complete other sleeping medications that worked on me, the ones that would not make you addictive to them, but in certain times such as these, only something like that could help me.

Benzodiazepine, known as the strongest medication for anxiety, sleeping troubles, but like every other good medication, it had quite the side effects.

Memory loss, personality change, an increased risk of dependency, things like that, were the most notable downsides.

I didn't want to rely on them at all, but when nothing helped, this was the only medication that made me go through this.

Like last week as well with Kaori's birthday.

In that particular instance I had to rely on it for a week again. The normal sleeping medications didn't work. That was why, the other medication was so important during this period of time.

But I absolutely hated to rely on it.

Those were my genuine feelings on it.

"But strangely, I didn't need any sleeping medications when I was with her."