My Posh idiot (BOOK 2)

78💞

Trigger warning ⚠️: mentioning of s*icide and r*pe!

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Alistair Ryle ~

"I think we should consider couples therapy..." The suggestion randomly left Iman's lips, causing me to look at her with confusion

"Couples therapy?" I questioned her, finishing up with parking my car

"I'm not gonna lie Alistair, but we may be good now but give it a couple of months, we'd be at each other's throats" Iman made a reasonable point

"I see what you mean, but most of those arguments were because of me..." I admitted to her

The numerous arguments that we had when we were a couple at university, only fuelled Iman's anger unnecessarily. We fought with each other because we did not get along. Being in a relationship should've taught us to get along, but it was the complete opposite.

I know that I was fully responsible for why we fought like cat and mouse and I am grown enough to admit that and to never make that mistake again.

However, I understand what Iman means by "being at one another's throats". The word is not "big" personalities, but more that we are very vocal in our points, in anything. Wanting to have the last word or arguments over small things that should be resolved easily, may occur.

Another thing I have noticed and maybe she has noticed as well, Iman might've forgiven me, but deep down I think she has forgiven me, even though she was not ready. I understand the art of forgiving and never forgetting, but I have caused so much damage towards her, that it made it hard for her to navigate through this relationship again. It could impact her way worse than it did when we weren't even together, so we may have to leave each other.

In no way shape or form do I want that to happen. I will do everything in my power to stop that from ever happening...

...because once that trust cannot be built again, what is the point in staying?

"Alistair..." Iman placed her delicate fingers on my shoulder, making me jump slightly at her touch "...you look sad, are you okay?" Iman asked me, with concern written on her face

I blinked for a moment, turning a little in my car seat. I took her hands, holding them in my hands, as if I never wanted to let her "Iman, promise me you will never leave me" I pleaded to her

"L-leave you, why would I do that?" Iman asked, dumbfounded by my statement "I do not want anyone else but you- you know that right?" Iman reassured me, caressing her thumbs over my fists

"I do not want anyone else to have you but me..." I was stern.

The thought of another man wanting Iman made my stomach churn.

"...To nearly have you slip away from me once again because of my actions scared me. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't have you. Honest to god I think I would go crazy or even..." I could not bring my lips to finish my sentence, already feeling the sense that Iman knew exactly what I meant

Iman brought one of her hands out of my grasp, towards the side of my face, rubbing her hand gently against the stubble of my beard "That's really scary Alistair..." worry laced within her tone "...it's scary because I'd probably do the same thing too- that's why I suggested couples therapy, to avoid that"

To know Iman had felt the same way eased my pain a little bit, but also scared me as I did not want her to feel like she would lose all hope in life because of me. If I could, I would take all of her pain, double it and transfer it to myself.