I never thought that I'd think a person was refreshing, and I'm not talking about that, 'I just took a drink of cold water after playing outside all day long' type of refreshing.
I'm talking about the feeling of fresh bedroom sheets that hug you in...
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Joliè's pov
Dear Eléa,
It has been a few days since I last wrote to you. I apologize; things have been busy. Between working on the final drafts for the line designs, submitting the final work for university, and spending time with Ashton, I have not had the time to sit and prattle with you. I have neglected us.
However, I come with extravagant news:
Ashton has agreed to become our girlfriend!
We are officially no longer the girl who has never dated anyone. We are officially the woman who gets to share her life with her soulmate.
I cannot articulate how overjoyed I am to know she is ours. I admit, I was quite worried about her answer when she asked to converse over dinner instead of giving me an answer right away. Papa urged me not to assume I would receive good news, and, as much as I tend to get my way, this was absolutely out of my control.
In the past, we have discussed different fears, and I want to add another today. Do you think Maman will love Ashton as we have begun to? I worry she will tell me to focus on the business, since she now forgets the days when she told me to find love. She is changing so quickly, and Papa says the disease is progressing so fast. Will I even have the chance to introduce Ashton to her?
That is another fear I want to add: what if Maman passes away before I get to show her what Ashton and I have is real? What then? I worry about this so much Eléa. Do you worry too, or are you stronger than me? Do you carry our fears and wear them as armor for the negative energy that tries to penetrate our minds?
Oftentimes in a dream, whilst sitting on a cloud in my mind, Maman sits close to me. She's creating a foundation for her next painting; a beautiful Canada Goose outlines the page, while she softly hums a French song about the bird itself. In front of me sits Ashton, though her back is turned towards me. When I reach for her, wanting to hold her against my chest, my fingers slip through her essence. It's like she was never there to begin with.
What do you think this means, Eléa? I'm afraid to look too deeply into it; perhaps I should talk to someone about this. There are many signs one can take, and I worry that I am being shown signs that I will not enjoy the meaning of.
Sometimes I wonder if I am too afraid to talk to Maman about Ashton, since she has already told me that no one will ever be good enough for her favorite child. I was always hoping she was joking, but now I am afraid she was serious. I do not want her to scare Ashton away by acting like she needs to learn about our business ventures to be in our family. Ashton is not the type who likes to be the center of attention, and I refuse to put her in a situation that would make her uncomfortable.
