My Mind.

04/30/13

*So...yeah I've been gone for a while. I don't know when I can put up new entries. Just be prepared it won't be very consistent. Sorry:/ My life is the definition of a roller coaster. If you want to know I can catch you up. Comment if you want an entry about what's going on (in more detail).*

Emotions. Words. Actions.

They are what define us. 

They are how we are remembered. 

They are what people title us by. 

That's not usually a good thing though, because people tend to title by the negative things we expose. 

It really isn't fair. 

Many things give or create emotions, trigger words that roll off our tongue, or actions that fly from our body. 

It's beautiful. 

The whole of it and how it works and happens.

Confusing, but fascinating. 

An action creates a reaction. 

Whether it's seen or not, heard or not, felt or not. 

There is always a reaction. 

Always. 

Apathy, passivity, ignorance. 

Those are reactions. 

Not always detectable though.

For me, music is one of the largest things that bring me emotion. 

When I don't have the intake of music, I realize I lose some emotions. 

I become more numb. 

I hate that "feeling". 

I know its immature to rely on music to give me emotion.

But it fills me with emotion, and I can't ignore something that gives me feelings. 

I love the feeling of an emotion filling me up. 

No matter if it's old or new. 

I'm feeling something. 

And that's an accomplishment. 

Yes, depressed, self-harming, suicidal emotions are not enjoyable, but they are such strong emotions that they're almost tempting...

That's disturbing.

I know.

But the human mind and heart is disturbing. 

So very much so, that is becomes the definition of beauty. 

The emotions are so strong that they usually turn into actions. 

Damn those actions. 

They are what ruin me. 

But represent me in this cruel world. 

I will over come them though. 

I will try my hardest to replace them no matter what.

Even if it kills me.