My Mind.

08/05/13

I think I'm the most numb I've ever been.

I'm still so stuck in this rut of nothingness.

I look around and I see nothing.

I feel nothing.

I hear nothing.

The faint beating of my heart is no longer there.

I don't even know what I'm holding on to anymore.

I've lost so much love.

I've lost my faith.

All I can do is keep a distance, so I don't bring anyone down with me.

I'm not even in reality anymore.

I'm constantly floating around in some in between world.

I'm always dissociated.

I'm always some where else.

I can't even stay in reality anymore.

Dissociation is my coping mechanism.

So what can I do?

My mind is completely distorted.

I can hardly remember memories the correct way.

I seem to change what happens in memories or of what I heard.

I'll be told things and sometimes I'll just change what I heard because I feel like that's what they really think.

My insecurities screw me up.

My Perception of things are just weird and distorted.

I feel like I have no control.

I'm the real deal.

A real fuck up.

So leave before you see me and and get sucked into some fucked up world.