My Mind.

09/22/13

Hey.

I'm back I guess.

I can't do anything.

The pressure I put on myself kills.

Why do I do it?

I don't know.

The stress stops me.

All I can do is nothing.

Pressure Pressure Pressure

Stop, please?

Why do I put all of this on me?

No one pressures me, but...me.

I try, and try, and try.

That's what I've been doing for years.

It hasn't gotten me anywere.

If at first you don't succeed, then try, try again.

Is that right?

I've never succeed with much in my life.

Nothing at all really.

All I did was try, try again.

I've tried so much that I can't anymore.

I decided that trying so hard was killing me slowly.

So I stopped.

Simple as that.

Stop.

The thing is, once I stopped trying...I stopped living all together.

I stopped trying and I've literally died.

What does that say about myself?

About who I am?

About my life?

Am I really worth anything?

There's nothing left.

Nothing important enough that was left behind.

All I can think is that I'm not worth anything.

Worthless.

Don't tell me that I am worth something.

Maybe I am too you.

But I don't think I'm worth anything to myself.

I don't see any worth in my body, mind, heart, or soul.

How do I stop hating myself?

How do I make myself worthy to me?

I really don't think I can.

When you've felt something for almost your entire existence can you ever get rid of it?

No.

I don't think so.

I guess in conclusion I don't find any worth in my helpless self and I can't do anything to change it.