My Mind.

VOID

I lay here.

Look up at the ceiling.

Sprawl myself out every which way.

My lungs suck in uneven quantities of air.

I stare.

I wonder.

What am I doing wrong?

I try.

I try so hard it hurts.

Pain sucks the life out of me.

And I am no longer conscious.

I am asleep, but no rest for this weary soul.

With my eyes still closed I roll over.

Senses shoot through my weak body.

And I remember...

I am alive.

But I am still void.

I bring my legs up to my chest.

Hold my breath.

Let myself sink into my body as the sun reaches for my pale skin.

I search for some sort of closure, but only seem to find doubt.

Everything is overflowing even though I have absolutely nothing.

No one wants an empty vessel.

I open my eyes and shut them as soon as they see light.

It's too dark inside for the sun to shine.

So instead I pull the covers over my head and search for a remedy that fills a void heart.

* Blah blah blah. I'm not doing so well. So much shit...I just need someone to hold me, to cuddle me. So I can feel some what human again. No one wants to though, so I have to settle for a fucking pillow.</3 *