The boys had gone out to a bar that night, except Harry. He stayed at the flat with me. We were snuggled up together on the couch, his arm around me and my head on his shoulder. We were watching some movie. I wasn't really paying attention, just kind of staring off into space. That was until Harry brought up the one thing I was hoping he'd forget about.
"Can you tell me what you went through now love?" He asked, stroking my hair. I lifted my head off his shoulder and sighed.
"It's kind of a really long story.." I mumbled.
Harry muted the TV and looked me in the eyes and said "Tell me."
'All-all of it?" I stuttered.
"Yes babe, all of it."
I drew in a deep breath and began with the very long story "Well it all started when I began middle school...I had just moved to Nashville, before then I had lived in Boston. Everyone hated me. They would call me really mean names like Slut, Fat, Bitch." I stopped and looked down at my hands, Harry still had his arm around me and he was listening intently.
"I didn't understand why they hated me...They just did. I hadn't done anything. Then when I was 13 my father died. It was really hard because I was really close to my dad. My Mom kind of drifted away from me and Brooke, she didn't care about us. So I was left at the age of 13 to take care of my 8 year old sister by myself. That was when i-I started cutting myself.." I whispered the last part and looked down at my hands again, not wanting to see Harry's face. All the memories came flooding back to me and I felt a tear roll down my cheek. Harry pulled me closer to him and kissed my head. I sighed and continued.
"But I stopped after I had down it a couple times. I knew if I killed myself I would leave Brooke with no one and I couldn't do that to her. I loved her too much. Thankfully, my mom finally came back to her senses and started caring for me and Brooke again. Nothing really too major happened again, besides everyone being so mean to me..but wh-when I was 16 I had my first boyfriend..a-and.." And that's when the tears started flooding out of my eyes.
"You don't have to continue love." He said.
"No...I have too. I'm never gonna get enough strength to tell you again, so I have to now." Harry nodded and let me continue the story.
"Well me and him dated for a year and he abused me...He would hit me and call me really mean names. But for some reason I convinced myself I loved him. On our half a year anniversary he tried to get me to have sex with me and I refused, saying I wasn't ready. He slapped me and called me a cunt and stormed out." I mumbled
"Then I found him...sleeping with a cheerleader because he wanted sex that bad...I thought it was because something was wrong with me. Like I was too fat or too ugly or something. That's why I-I don't eat.."
"Oh love-" Harry said but I interrupted him.
"I'm not finished." He sighed and waited for me to continue. I let in another big breath and said "I used to eat nothing. Like at all. I would starve myself and whenever I would eat, even a little thing, I would throw it up. I had this crazy thought that people would like me better if I was prettier and I thought I could be prettier if I was skinnier. I don't make myself throw up food anymore but I still haven't gotten used to eating. There, I'm done now." I said, tears streaming out of my eyes at this point.
"Baby doll, Look at me." He said, taking my face in his hands and turning it towards him. I looked into his eyes and he wiped my tears away with his thumbs. "You are a beautiful, amazing girl. No one should make you feel like that." He kissed me gently and I softly kissed him back. He pulled away and wrapped his arms around me. My head was resting on his chest and I realized that tears were still flowing out of my eyes and making his shirt wet. We stayed that way for a little while until I yawned and he noticed.
"Come on Love, let's go to bed." He said, picking me up and taking me into the Bedroom. I quietly stripped off my dress, not bothering to go in the bathroom. I didn't really care if Harry saw me naked, it wasn't like we were going to do anything. I slipped on a skin tight pink tank top and white shorts with pink hearts on them and slipped into the bed. I looked over at Harry and he was standing there, shirtless and just in his boxers.
"Holy.." I whispered. Dang we was fit. He saw me staring and started to make silly poses. I giggled a little and he smiled as he got into the bed next to me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tight to him.
"Goodnight Gorgeous." He whispered, kissing me on the head. I smiled and drifted off to sleep but didn't stay that way for long. I started having terrible dreams.
It began with Me finding Harry sleeping with another girl.
"What the hell Harry?!" I shouted. He looked over at me and rolled his eyes
"Oh Kayla." He spitted out, disgusted "I've realized that you're not good enough for me. You're not pretty or talented and nobody loves you." He said. He turned back to the girl and began to makeout with her.
"Harry.." I whispered and started to cry. He just laughed.
"Can you leave Kayla? Like now." He said. I ran out of the room, crying but tripped over my feet and fell.
"Idiot.." I heard him say. I scrambled up off the floor and ran out of the room as fast as I could. I couldn't see where I was going through the tears. My head was spinning but I finally found my way somewhere. I was sitting in my bathroom and there was a knife in front of me. I grabbed it and was about to cut my wrist, tears streaming out of my eyes.
"Kayla! Wake up!" I heard Harry say as my eyes flew open.
"What..what.." I whispered.
"Love, you've been crying and shaking for about 30 minutes. I've been trying to wake you up. Are you okay?"
"I-I'm fine..I just had a terrible dream.." I whispered. Harry didn't bother to ask what it was about, since it had upset me so much.
"It's all gonna be okay babe." He gently kissed my forehead and started stroking my hair.
"Do you think you'll be able to go back to sleep love?" He asked me. I shrugged and looked over at him.
I looked into his eyes and said "I'm so lucky to have someone like you." I said, snuggling into his chest and falling asleep.
