In The Stars - (PewDieCry)

-Chapter 52-

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[cry's pov]

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We go inside with Dan and immediately there is another guy to see us. He nearly tackled Felix with a hug and they all start talking at once. I just stare out the window quietly, watching the snow drift down. It's absolutely beautiful. 

I never knew what I was missing in life until I had touched snow for the first time. When I was playing in the snow with Nate and Felix there was something there, though, that I was missing. There was something that had to do with the snow that I needed to know, or figure out, but I couldn't. My mind wanders to the sound of snow crunching under my feet. Turning back, I notice that they're all looking at me. I don't know how long they have been staring, but suddenly I feel uncomfortable. I give them all a small nod and wave. 

"Who's this, Pewds?" Phil extends his hand, and I take it hesitantly. After everything that happened, I'm not going to just suddenly trust these people. I thought we would be alone, but there's still people that can hurt us. They could turn on us. They could be working for Ken, somehow, or Jack or whoever wants us still. 

Even though I feel inexplicably happy up here, it doesn't mean I'm not still wary. 

Nothing feels wrong, but...

"My name is Cry," I say quietly. "It's nice to meet you." Felix detects my tons right away and gives me a warning look. I ignore it. 

"It's nice to meet you, Cry. How do you know Felix?" I let go of his hand, and keep my face level. I'm not going to tell them too much about me, in case they use it to their advantage. 

"He's my boyfriend. We met when we were small." My response is simple and cold and I think it surprises Phil a little that I'm not as warm as Fe is. Never have been, and probably never will. The snow out there is a lot like the layers I put up around myself.

The first layer I put up that people have to break through is the icy coldness of snow. A snowy, sold barrier that takes a long time to chip away. It gets harder and more frozen until you get to the very center, my heart.

Who even knows if it's there anymore anyway. 

"Gayness  is yayness," Dan says which gets a smile out of me. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to think. Meeting new people this fast makes me feel like I'm going to panic, and say something wrong. Then they'll hate me and want to hurt me and do awful things, like everyone else in my life before. My hands are shaking, so I put them in  my pockets. 

"Hey Felix?" He looks at me with stormy eyes. I can tell he's upset that I didn't like them right away. "Maybe we could get the stuff we need and go back? I'm kind of worried about Nate." He looks me in the eyes and nods. 

"Dan! You two can come over for dinner later?" Felix smiles that god damn smile and both Dan and Phil agree immediately. "Alright, sounds awesome. Cry, you go wait in the car, and I'll get the things." I peck him on the lips and leave the store, stepping out into the biting cold. 

>>>>

It's silent when Pewdie gets in the car. He slams the door and starts the car, and I look out the window. His body language out of the corner of my eye screams hey I'm fucking pissed don't talk to me. So I don't. 

"What was that?" He asks later, when we're almost home. His tone is almost as biting as the cold. "What happened back there? I've known those two for a long, long, long time Cry."

"I've known you longer," I snap back. He looks taken aback by my tone. 

"So what? Is this a jealousy thing or...?" I jump in surprise and shake my head.

"Hell no! I just... I don't know. You never told me about them, or anything, and I didn't expect you know for them to really be all that excited to see you, and I don't know they could try to do something to us because no matter what something bad always happens," I ramble on and on, trying to get my point across. Felix looks more pissed after each word I utter. 

"So you're worried they're going to try and kill you or something?" He finally says, cutting me off. I dig my nails in my arm and take a deep breath.

"Yeah. You know what, I kind of am. I don't get a bad vibe off of them but at the same time, my radar for bad or good has never really worked properly, since motives are generally confusing to me, I guess?" He pulls roughly into the path that goes to the cabin. Branches smack the sides of the car.

"Well, Cry, you give off a weird vibe but that never stopped me from talking to you." 

"You fucking hated me the first time we met after that night!" I yell. My patience snaps. "How the fuck am I supposed to trust people right after I meet them? Everybody who I trusted eventually hated me." 

"So, me too? Huh? Do I hate you, or do you not trust me?" I open the car door when it's still moving and Felix slams on the brakes. "Cry what the fuck are you doing?"  

"I'm going for a walk," I say with a growl in my voice. "I"ll be back soon."

"You're going to be cold," Felix says. "Just get back in the car, and we can figure this out." My feet crunch in the snow when I get out of the car. 

"See you soon, or whatever," I say and slam the door shut. He honks the horn, disturbing birds in trees near us. It sends them up in a black storm of crows. Their calls to each other are eerie as the car fades out of sight and the horn stops.

The forest swallows me whole.