In The Stars - (PewDieCry)

-Chapter 10-

[cry’s p.o.v.]

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I drop the paper. It flits slowly to the ground, and in the puddles of rain water, it soaks and blurs the ink. Can I really do that? Can I really kill the boy I’m… starting to fall in like (hell no, not love, love is too complicated) with… can I really kill his dad? Should I do it?

“Cry, are you alright?” Pewdie is staring at me, taking in the way my shirt is slightly folded up and my wide eyes. I’ve never been very good at hiding my expressions. I stare at him, and my brother exits the office, and looks at me coldly.

“You’ve killed people…” Nate pushes past Felix, making sure to stay as far away from me as possible. “My brother is a murderer.” It isn’t a question. We all know it’s true. I choose to say nothing, instead sitting down on the bench, looking at the puddles on the ground. He picks up his sleeping bag from where we sleep, and starts to drag it to the office. “I’m sleeping in the office tonight.”

Felix and I are silent as he drags the sleeping bag down the hallway. It makes me think of all the times I’ve done that with bodies. The door to the office slams shut, rattling the ground.

“What happened back there?” Pewdie looks really shook up, as if he wants to run but he doesn’t know where to run to.  I put my head in my hands and shake my head. I hate this. I’m starting to really like Pewdie and it makes me so angry. He crosses the room and sits beside me on the bench. “Cry, answer me,” he says, his voice shaking.

“I decided to kill someone,” I say quietly, and he doesn’t yell at me or scream at me like I expect him to. He puts his arm around me and lays his head on my shoulder. “How did you survive it all? You’re not a monster like I am, obviously. Yet you managed to live in the orphanage without dying.”

“That’s a story for another time,” he says softly, setting his hand on my heart like he did when I attacked Stephano. I know exactly what he’s doing… and it helps. “I’m not going to ask who you have to kill or anything. I’m just going to ask you not to do it.” His warm breath hits my neck, and all my emotions seem to unravel.

“Will you stay here tonight?” I sound like a begging child. “Please stay here with me, just for tonight.”

He doesn’t even move. I think he’s thinking about it. I feel so weak asking another person for help – but everyone, even the strongest of people, have a point in their lives where they fall down.

“Where will I sleep?” He answers my question with another question.

“With me,” I say quietly.

“In the sleeping bag?”

“Yes.”

“Alright,” he says, kissing my forehead. “I’ll stay here with you, but not just for tonight. I’ll stay with you forever.”

>>>>

The sleeping bag is thrown over us unzipped, and we’re laying in the carpeted part of the library.  We have our arms around each other, and now I’m not embarrassed to say it – I’m really starting to like him. Even love him.

I’ve always been one to hop into love too fast. Mostly because I don’t really understand it. I mean, I can just look up the definition online or something. But nobody can really describe what love is. There are so many different versions of it that I feel like I’m drowning. For the longest of time, I thought that only a monster could love another monster.

“Are you still awake?” His voice is low and raspy, nothing like I know.

“I don’t know if I can sleep.” At these words, like I’ve started to get used to, he slips his hand under my shirt and sets it on my chest. “I bet you’re regretting ever caring about me, huh?”

“No. You don’t just stop caring about someone if they do something bad.” He pauses, and I feel his chest rise and fall as he sighs. “Even if they do something really bad, part of you always will love them.”

“And do you… love me?” He freezes, and I flinch, knowing I shouldn’t have asked. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. Forget it.”

“The word love is thrown around a lot. Most of the time, it’s useless.” I nod, agreeing. I’ve wasted the word away a lot in the past. “But, yes, I’m starting to fall in love with you. I’m not quite… in love. But it’s coming.”

“Huh. You took the words right out of my mouth,” I say, and he chuckles. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to take you out on a date tomorrow.” He chuckles even harder, and I grimace. Unfortunately, it’s not some cutesy date I want to take him on.

“Where would we go?”

“I want to show you how I live, and I want you to show me how you lived.” I look into his blue eyes in the darkness. There’s no light in them … I’ve started to think of Pewdie as light and sun. Funny, because there seems to be nothing light about him now.

“If you really want to, I guess… we can do that. It is Saturday tomorrow, after all. Free day.” He wraps his arm around my midsection, burying his face into my chest. “You should get some sleep.” His hand doesn’t leave my chest.

I drift off, wondering what almost-love is defined as.

>>>>

[kind of a short chapter today, I didn’t get much time to write in class. There’s a lot of this story lately because I’m very interested in writing it, so therefore I’m neglecting my other stories. So expect a lot! Have a good day babees. Deuces!]