In The Stars - (PewDieCry)

-Chapter 7-

[cry’s p.o.v.]

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Walking home can be hard sometimes. Mostly because it’s a long walk to the orphanage. And an even longer walk to the library from school, after missing the bus. The memories that stir are not friendly as well.

 After threatening the owner of our orphanage quite a bit, she let us stay not permanently with Amy. We have to go back to check in every day. Sitting here in front of the school, I’m not ready to go back to the orphanage yet.

Some days I wonder why Amy doesn’t just adopt us.

Then I remember we aren’t exactly the epitome of perfect children.

Amy says it’s because she’s currently living with her mom, who travels a lot, and until she can make enough money for a new house and adoption she can’t take us away with her and start a new life. The only person I would want adopting me is Amy, and even then, I don’t want her necessarily adopting me. It would make it harder to do the things I do, protect the people I protect, etcetera, etcetera. I think part of Amy knows that, and that’s part of the reason she chooses to be what she calls a “part-time mom.”

I don’t like to remember the first day we met Amy, because then I remember what it was like before that. It’s mostly cold and darkness and fear. I don’t like the fear part most of all.  Monsters like me shouldn’t feel fear, they should be it.

“I don’t like it! I don’t like this, and I don’t like him! He’s killing you again, Felix, he’s slowly killing you like all the times you’ve seen and heard talk of him. He’s going to drag you down with him.” A loud voice carries from the corner of the school, just out of site of the boulder I’m sitting on. I’m not ready to leave this place yet, to face my brother and tell him about today. My brother thinks I’m getting better, but I’m still… having these thoughts. About monsters and men and blood. I want them to stop but… I need to protect Nate and Amy. It’s like it’s coded into my blood, carved into my skin, I have to protect the people I love.

“I… I know, but I try to be mad at him, and then I remember what he looked like on the night – “

“With the stars! I know. It’s always about the god damn stars with you, Pewds.” A loud thunk, as if someone is being pushed against a wall, resonates deep in my brain. I know that voice. Protect. Protect. Protect.  I get up, almost like a robot, and move quietly to where Pewdie and Stephano are having an argument.

“You don’t understand. You’ve never understood what I’m talking about. You fucking spoiled bitch. Stephano, you have everything. A house, a family, a girlfriend.”

“That I don’t want! I don’t want a girlfriend. I want you! I want to kiss you and – “

“You have everything, and I have nothing but him. I have nothing but Cry.” My hand reaches up to touch my mask, making sure I still exist. That I am here, and he is talking about me, not some other Cry.

“I have everything but you,” Stephano says in a low voice, taking a step forward. I read it as a threat, but now is not the time to intervene.  I want to hear more. “I guess I’ll just have to take what I want then.” He pushes Pewdie against the wall, muffling his protests with his hand.