In The Stars - (PewDieCry)

-Chapter 54-

a/n:

SO HEY YOU FUCKING AMAZING PEOPLE

I just noticed that when you search pewdiecry that this story is near the top and only going up. From what I can see it's by the ones that are in the hundred thousand views and wow. How the fuck am I that far up? CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN. I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND.

And I just want to say right now, thank you so damn much. I'm so glad people enjoy this story, it's a huge source of happiness for me to see all the comments I get talking about it and all the friends I've made through it. From the bottom of my heart, thank you so so so damn much. It's insane. Sometimes I don't think this story is particularly anything to get very excited about but it's really lovely to see so many people happy about it. Well, sad. Since I like to kill your feels. :)

I hope you have a ballertastic day.

Deuces!

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[pewdie's pov]

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I'm pacing back and forth in the living room. It's starting to get dark and Cry still isn't back yet. It's freezing cold outside and he left with barely anything to keep him warm. Mentally, I curse myself. I shouldn't have accused him for something so goddamn shallow as being jealous. There has to be more than what he was upset about. With Cry, there's always something more about him that's confusing. There's always something that he forgets to leave out. Right when I think I've broke through all of the walls that he surrounds himself with he puts up one more.

There's a knock at the door.

I open it and Dan and Phil are standing there. Dan starts to say hello, but stops and studies my face.

"What's got your panties in a twist? Where's Cry at? We were hoping to give him this. It kind of reminded us of him." Dan holds out a CD player and Phil smiles and extends a box full of CDs. "We both noticed how he was always squirming and tapping his hands against his leg, and you guys must have a significant lack of music up here. All this silence, sometimes it's a little overwhelming." My mouth opens and closes as they walk in and set the things down.

"Won't you guys miss the CDs and the player? Gosh, you really don't have to..." Dan and Phil give each other a strange look that look similar to one Cry and I would share.

"It's no problem, Fe. What are you looking all worried about?" Phil and Dan smile at me and their presence is so nice and comforting that... well, a tear slips down my cheek. The two look extremely alarmed and rush to comfort me. A minute later somehow I'm sitting with a warm cup of tea in my hand and one on either side.

"After we left your guy's place, Cry and I had a fight. We haven't fought like that in a very, very long time. He hasn't come back yet, and I'm kind of scared." My lip trembles a little. I feel like such a fucking pussy but I really care about Cry. A ton. More than I can even explain.

"Has he done something like this before?" Phil asks. I nod.

"Yeah, he has. There was one time where-" My voice catches, thinking about the man I love stabbing me. It still haunts my nightmares. "There was this one time, but I don't really want to talk about it. It's kind of... yeah. But I don't know, I just... he isn't back, and I'm really worried." Both Dan and Phil stand up, sharing a nod.

"Okay, let's go look for him." The two help me up.

"No, oh. Um, gosh, you two really don't have to... I-"

"No complaints, FeFe. We're going to find him and it's all going to be okay." We all start to put on our winter clothes. Nate peeks his head out from where he was cooking dinner for all of us. He had just recently arrived home from the forest, and I haven't told him about the fight Cry and I had.

"What's wrong?" He walks up to me and I pause tying my shoe. Phil helps zip up Dan's jacket in the background. "Where are you all going? Where's my brother at?" I hug him and peck him on the forehead. We're so much like family at this point that it isn't even weird. He hugs me back and pulls away, still looking confused.

"I'll tell you everything when we get back, alright? For now, could you keep making us dinner. We'll be back real soon." Nate looks angry and a little impatient but senses not to push me.

"Fine. I'll wait for you. But you better be back before the food gets cold, or else I'm going to be kind of mad." We give each other one last hug and Dan, Phil, and I leave. The snow crunching beneath my boots is the only thing that stops me from screaming Cry's name over and over.

>>>>

This is the path he took when he got out of the car. Hopefully he stayed on it," I say. We all walk side by side down the path. I'm in the middle, Dan is on the left, and Phil is on the right. We're quiet for a while. Phil breaks the awkward silence.

"AND THE THREE HEROES SET OFF, TO PRESERVE THE YAY IN THIS GAY RELATIONSHIP." It coaxes a smile and laugh out of me, but Dan just rolls his eyes.

"Phil, no." I think he's forgetting the fact that he made a joke exactly alike the one Phil did only a few hours ago. That makes me laugh even harder, and soon hysterically. When I'm done I'm clawing at my chest, trying to breathe. They stare at me with amused expressions.

"Wow, that fel-" I pause mid-sentence and stop walking. Dan and Phil stop and look back at me.

"What's wro-" I cut off Dan with a loud shhh and he shuts his mouth. There's a faint voice that I can hear some distance in front of us. We all stand as rigid as the frozen trees infront of us and listen carefully. I motion for them to stay back as I move forward.

A hush seems to fall over the whole forest. It seems like the whole world is watching me, waiting to see what I'm going to do. The stars sparkle above me curiously. The snow seems to stop falling. The voice grows louder and louder as I get nearer to a gigantic tree. Light reflects through the branches from the moon and shines on it. Whatever is watching right now, a sudden thought pops into my mind.

(they want me to find him.)

(so i will. i always have, and i always will.)

Suddenly I'm sprinting toward it and the voice echoes in my head. It's his. It's Cry's voice every single damn time, and I can't stop it. I want him to stop. I need him to stop. But he doesn't. The voice is still a faint whisper.

oh god please please let me die

please if you're out there

i want to die

just let me die

My hands find snow and I'm scraping and fighting against it. The snow collapses through and he's sitting there, blue lips and blue veins and blue everything. My hand finds his cheek and he's icy cold and barely breathing. But somehow, his lips are still moving, saying the same words over and over and over.

"Felix, leave me alone."

"Felix, let me die."

"You'll be fine on your own."

"I want to see Amy again. I want to meet everyone I have lost. I want to see my dad and I want to talk with him."

"My burden is too heavy for you to carry. I know you're tired all the time."

"I also know it's because of me."

"So please, let me die."

"Just... let me die."

The world is still silent. Waiting, watching. The stars no longer seem curious, they seem malicious

Everything is always watching. I hate the watching...

Dan and Phil reach me. Phil pulls me back as Dan reaches in and picks up Cry. Cry isn't even shivering, he's justs stiff and lifeless. He has stopped talking. It's so sudden that I wonder if it was just an imagination. Just something I made up because I was stressed.

I know better.

I wish I didn't.

God, I wish I didn't know better.