In The Stars - (PewDieCry)

-Chapter 60-

a/n:

badadadadadadada

that is all

pece out lil homie

*when undertale helps put into words what you've been trying to write for months and months like thank you undertale jesus like wow*

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[cry's pov]

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They leave, and with shuddering breaths, I search through Felix's pockets. Immediately I find the newspaper clipping. My hands start to shake and my vision blurs. Kenzie is dead, and the new isn't fast in its updates around here. How long ago was this? I check the date and my horror grows. It's been almost a month since this article was published.

How many of my friends are dead by now? 

Cry, come home.

I stare at the article for a few more seconds before putting it back. Somehow, I haven't flipped out yet. Inside me, I knew something like this was coming. I'm not destined to be happy. But for some reason, I'm not destined to die either.

And that, more than anything, pisses me the fuck off.

It's like my whole existence is just somebody fucking with me. Making me fall in love, but crippling my feelings so bad that I'm destined to fuck up. Suddenly, I'm pulling on a jacket. I'm tearing off some paper from the book I'm reading, apologizing to the book as I do.

My hands start to shake as I write, but I know I have to do this. Felix can't come with me, either. This is it. This is the end game. Now is the time where our life is going to truly derail. A huge choice is going to be made. Unconsciously, I go back to a small lesson in school that I actually paid attention to for once. It was about Julius Ceaser crossing the Rubicon with his army. It changed all of history. 

For some reason, even though I'm a one man army... I feel like me leaving or staying is a choice that's going to change everything. 

Because believe me, I want to stay. Maybe I could get used to the cold eventually, the feeling of emptiness. Felix is happy, Nate loves this place more than I could've imagined. But... there's something wrong. 

If I stay, something is going to come for me. I'll survive, Felix will survive, but we won't live. Living and surviving are two very different things. I don't want to just survive anymore. And I believe that leaving can help me, even if I die. 

Maybe if I die, I'll actually get to live for once.

I pull on my boots and layer myself up. A bag is quickly packed with a few things, but not much. I know that I won't have much time left anyway, so I don't need anything. 

The paper sits on the counter. I saved the note for last, I begin to write. My writing doesn't make any sense an all I do is ramble, but I manage to get to the point. 

>>>>

Felix,

Hey there.

Damn, you're probably super pissed at me right now. And I get it, okay? I get it. But I went back to Florida. Just letting you know that you're a fucking awful liar, and I could tell you were hiding something by your body language. Sometimes I wish that I don't know you that well, and that you don't know me. 

It would make things a lot easier. But all the same, every time I try to pull away from you... Something goes seriously wrong. The burns, for example. They were never real. Just a figment of my imagination, something that developed because I was away from you. 

Unfortunately, I have to pull away one last time. I'm really sorry. 

Don't follow me. Not that you really can, since I'm taking the car with me. 

I love you a lot, Pewds. Please understand. I'm going to go fucking insane if I stay here with no changes. And this is a great excuse to get some air, to get away from all those nightmares I have about freezing to death. But it's not me who freezes, it's you. And I can handle myself dying, I actually want to, but you I don't want to lose. 

So I'm gonna do this.

Bye.

>>>>

I rip out a second paper and write to Nate now. The wind picks up outside, sounding like a million voices from above are screaming. 

>>>>

Nate,

Sup, little brother.

Or should I call you forest man, because that's all you've done since you got here? Haha. 

Honestly, I don't really know what to say to you. Only that I'm sorry for being such a sucky ass brother. I always have been. Let you get hit by a car, and now I'm worrying you by leaving. 

Trust me, I'll be fine. It seems like I'm writing a last goodbye right now. I'm not. I'll be back, one way or another. But if you follow me, you won't. We all won't live. You guys have to stay here.

I'm asking you as your brother to make Felix stay here. I can't let him die. 

If I stay, he dies. If he leaves, we both die. 

Don't ask me how I know, I just do. It feels like I'm reliving this life. After the near death experience I had, I've been seeing things. Mostly about snow. And it disturbs me. It feels like my whole life is just someone's remix of an original song. 

I don't care much for remixes. And I don't want it to be this way anymore.

I want to be an original, not a remix. Not a fake. Not a second copy. I want to live life without feeling torn between memories.

This whole reset thing has my feelings and instincts going insane. One moment I'll be doing something or reading something I've never read before, and suddenly I get massive visions and flashes of doing it. It bothers me. 

Call me schizophrenic, (please don't, I think this is all real, please trust me) but sometimes I feel like someone is majorly fucking with time. Resetting it over and over when they don't get the ending they want. 

It scares me.

I want it to stop.

I want everything to stop.

But I've gone on long enough.

Please, I'm asking for your own sake. Don't follow me. 

I love you, brother.

-Cry

>>>>