Barely Breathing//Ethis

2||

Chris' point of view:

I don't know how it happened or why it did but I know that I can never tell Jakob and Ethan. They can never know about it, I'll take it to my grave. I'm still trying to wrap my head around all of it, why I let it happen. Why I let it go that far. I don't want to think about what their reactions would be if they ever found out. They'd probably be so disappointed that I let it get to that point.

"Chris where are you?" Jakob calls from what sounds like the hallway

"Uh I'm in here" I reply and moments later my bedroom door swings open and Jakob runs in like a hurricane jumping on me.

"Ah get off me" I groan trying to sit up

"You love me" he laughs getting up

"Where's Ethan?" I ask also getting up

"He's downstairs, there's something he wants to tell you" Jakob replies exiting the room, as soon as the words left his mouth my heartbeat immediately increased and my mouth has become dry.
What's he going to tell me?
Is it bad? Good?
A million thoughts race through my mind as I walk down the stairs behind Jakob. We walk into the living room to find Ethan sitting on the couch, with a girl. Jakob and I sit across from them and I see a massive smirk plastered on Ethan's face and I can tell the anticipation is killing him.

"This is my girlfriend." He blurts out taking a glance at the girl and entwining their fingers, my heart instantly drops and I don't know if it's because this has to be his first girlfriend or the fact that this is just going to complicate many things. I stand up from my seat and all their eyes fall on me as I run from the room.
How could he do this?
Does he not know how shattered all of our beautiful fans will be when he decides to tell them? If  he decides to tell them.
Why do I even care this much? It's not like this is affecting me, is it?
It doesn't matter.

"Chris can I come in?" Ethan asks knocking on my door, I don't reply so he, of course let's himself in.

"What's with you?" He asks throwing his hands up in the air

"What's with me? What's with you? You're the one that's gone and got a girlfriend, not to mention you've never even spoken about her before. What did you do? Ask out the first girl you saw?" I fire back filled with rage

"You don't know anything about anything!" He yells storming out of the room, I close my door in frustration, if he wants to be like that, fine by me. I sigh flopping down on my bed letting sleep soon take over.

Ethan and I sit nervously on the couch as we wait for Jakob to come down the stairs. After several minutes he finally does and he sits opposite us eagerly waiting for whatever we have to say

"We have something to tell you.." Ethan starts trailing off

"Uh well you see.." I try but fail also trailing

"We're together" Ethan blurts out and a massive smile spreads across his face as he looks at me sending butterflies off in my stomach.

I wake suddenly panting softly. That was by far one of the weirdest dreams I have ever had. I don't even know what that was, I mean Ethan's not gay. He has a girlfriend and I'm definitely not gay either, it's honestly just left me even more confused then I already was before. Wide awake now, I get up and decide to get a drink from the kitchen. I make my way down the stairs, in the dark might I add. I don't want to wake the boys and have them asking questions about why I'm up because it's obviously late.

I eventually find the kitchen light and almost get the fright of my life when I see Ethan sitting at the counter eating cereal. I compose myself and glance at the clock on the wall; 12:41am
I awkwardly make my way over to the fridge pouring myself some milk hoping it will help me to sleep. I turn to leave wanting to avoid any further awkwardness due to what happened earlier today and the weird dream I just had but of course Ethan has to speak

"Chris wait," he says making me stop in my tracks, I turn to face him not saying a single word "can we talk, please?" He asks hopefully and I find myself not able to resist his big brown eyes that seem to bore into mine. I nod shuffling over to the counter and sitting on the stool next to him and only then do I notice the tiredness in his eyes and the bags under his eyes.

"I'm sorry for getting angry at you today, I don't know I guess it was kind of the heat of the moment and I've been stressed out about a lot of stuff lately and I just snapped" he speaks staring down at his cereal

"No don't be sorry, it was my fault. I was just a bit annoyed that you suddenly got a girlfriend and hadn't mentioned her yet that's all. What's stressing you out? Anything I can help with?" I ask furrowing my brows

"Uh well, no, no nothing, it's nothing don't worry" he rushes shaking his head lightly, he get's up and carries his bowl to the sink putting it down softly as to not wake anyone else up. He rests his elbows on the bench and puts his head in his hands sighing, he then stands back up turning on his heals and fleeing the room and I swear in that split instant that our eyes briefly met I saw a tear slip from his eye.

Something is definitely wrong and I don't whether it's with me or its with him.