Barely Breathing//Ethis

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A/N: BEHOLD A SHORT UNEDITED CHAPTER SO
THERES DEFINITELY MISTAKES BUT JUST EMBRACE IT OKAY BC WE ARE FAM :))

Ethan's point of view:

"I'm sorry!" I cry for what must be the thousandth time this weekend

"How could you let it happen Ethan?!" Dad yells suddenly making me flinch

"I-it's not my fault" I say quieter now, yesterday they wouldn't even consider the fact I was telling the truth and now it's like I'm the one that's committed a criminal offence.

"You should have been practicing!" He continues to yell

"He drugged me! There wasn't anything I could do about it" I say silently praying he doesn't hit me again

"What's wrong with you?" He says calmly now

"Have you tried, not being gay?" Mum asks and all I do is just stare at her, did she really just ask me that?

"It doesn't work like that and if I did I would be lying to not only myself but everyone." I reply with the same calm tone

"Go walk some sense into yourself"

I don't say anything else and I listen, once I'm outside I sigh in relief starting to walk to the band house, my real house.

Chris' point of view:

"Ethan told his parents what happened and they got so angry, his dad said he was a disappointment and it was all excuses and then he slapped him. He actually slapped him really hard and then I let it slip that we were dating and this just made things worse, they kicked me out. I rang Ethan and he said that his dad said he wasn't allowed to be gay and then he hit him again. I don't really know what to do, he's giving up and he won't let me help him." I tell Jakob taking in a deep breath trying not to cry.

"That's terrible, how could they treat him like that?"

"I wasn't expecting them to react to him being raped well, but I never in a million years thought they'd react like that. They're so controlling and manipulative and Ethan is terrified of them."

"Raped?" Jake asks furrowing his eyebrows with worry, I nod.

"He had a panic attack before he told me" I tell him feeling slightly guilty

"And now he's stuck in a house with homophobic abusive parents?" He asks just to make sure he's keeping up

"I'm so worried about him" I say holding my head in my hands taking in a deep breath

"I'm sure he's okay" Jakob reassures

"What if he's not?" I look up at him, this time he doesn't answer.

However we do hear the front door open and close quietly before Ethan appears in the doorway, I immediately rush over to him and engulf him in a tight hug.

''Are you okay? What happened? Tell me everything"

''Chris I'm fine, really. But you're kinda crushing my bones'' he half laughs, I quickly pull away slipping my hand into his and dragging him to the couch

''You're not fine.'' I state waiting for him to say something, he looks away as if he's considering the very thought of it.

He looks extremely tired and worn out, he's got a light bruise sitting just under his left eye and he looks like this is the first time he hasn't cried all weekend.

I softly touch the bruise and with very little energy he pushes my hand away

''It's nothing'' he sighs

''Ethan, what happened?''

''Dad told me it was my fault, like I had a choice in what happened. And when I tried to defend myself he said I was talking back, making up excuses for failing them. Then he would hit me. He said I should've tried harder. They hate me because I'm gay, they hate me because I'm dating you and they hate me because I'm a disappointment.'' He explains finally looking back at me with tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

''You don't have to go back there, you don't have to see them again. At least not until they learn how to treat you properly.'' I suggest

''Maybe if I worked harder, just shut my mouth and listened to what people wanted of me half the things that have happened to me, wouldn't have.'' He says quietly scratching the back of his neck

''Ethan'' I say perhaps more sympathetic than I should have because he stands up and leaves the room.

I look at Jakob who is still sitting beside me

''He just needs time'' he says

''He's had a whole year.''

I open Ethan's door and see him sprawled out over his bed, he rolls over to look at me not showing a sign of any emotion

''Leave me alone'' he says annoyed

''No.'' I reply firmly walking over to him and I sit beside him

"What do you want?" he says almost immediately

"I want you to tell me what happened"

"I've told you, besides it doesn't even matter anymore." He says trying to dismiss the subject but I'm determined

"If it doesn't matter then why do you still cry every night because of it? Why did you have a fucking panic attack then Ethan?" I say starting to get angry, all I want to do is help him

"Please don't yell" he says quietly

"I want some answers Ethan" I continue

"I've given you answers already, please I don't want to talk about it" he says

"Jesus Christ, you can't avoid it forever. If it doesn't matter to you then why can't you tell me what happened? Why were you so scared about telling your parents?" I snap

"Chris, stop" he says looking away, but I don't

"You know what Ethan? Maybe you're starting to disappoint me too." He turns and looks at me in shock and I see the tears welling up in his eyes

"Get out" he whispers obviously hurt, I stand up and stop at the doorway

"I don't even know why I try with you, all you do is push me away. I'm done Ethan" and with that I close the door behind me. 

Ethan's point of view:

I hold a pillow over my face in an attempt to muffle my cries, I'm even a disappointment to Chris. He knew he was hurting me and he still continued to say those things. I expect my parents to say those things but I really wouldn't think Chris would, he's my boyfriend. Or, he was.

Soon enough the pillow is soaked and my breathing is short and quick.

"A disappointment, that's all you are" I mutter and my eyes start to sting from all the crying I've been doing.

I always disappoint someone in everything I do, you'd think I'd be used to hearing it by now but it still hurts just like it did the first time.

"Never good enough" I sob into my hands

Maybe if I went away everyone would be happier, what's the harm in that?