Barely Breathing//Ethis

9||

Ethan's point of view:

I sit in the horribly uncomfortable chair in Chris' private hospital room patiently waiting for him to wake up as he is under anaesthetic but the doctors said we are allowed to visit him. We have all been here for many hours that seem to drag on with no change in Chris.
I sit up straight when a very official looking doctor carrying a mini clipboard walks into the room

"You're Chris' friend, are you?" He asks moving over to the end of Chris' bed, I nod walking over to Chris as well

"You most understand that with the state Chris is in, he won't be out of the hospital for a number of days. I must however ask you one question." He speaks moving closer to Chris and lifting up the hem of his hospital gown to his thigh revealing scars upon scars buried deep within his skin. In shock I take a step back meeting the doctor's eyes

"Were you aware that Chris had been inflicting pain upon himself?" He asks with sincerity, I shake my head unable to say anything. Never could I imagine Chris doing this, he hid it so well. Almost as swiftly as he came the doctor takes my silenced  as a cue to leave.

Ten minutes later Chris' condition starts to change and he begins to stir, I rush to his side, he groggily rubs his eyes looking around

"Chris you're in the hospital, it's okay" I tell him softly, his eyes widen and he sits up noticing that his scars are exposed and he hurriedly pulls down the gown looking up at me with fear.

"Like I said earlier, I don't expect you to tell me anything. I'm here for you Chris, I never want it to get this bad again." I tell him, he nods saying nothing as he stares past me. I know it's no use telling all this to him now because he isn't feeling any better than he was before he woke up. He looks down at his arm that has a tube flowing some type of drug into his veins and he starts to adjust it, I reach out a hand and put it over his stopping him. I immediately pull my hand away scared of what he might think of my sudden action.

"Have you told the fans anything?" He asks quietly

"No, not unless you want me to" I reply sitting on his bed

"Please don't," he says looking almost terrified "I don't want to see what they have to say" I nod, it's understandable. He's probably scared of what they'd say about him whether it be good or bad. Jakob and I can just try our best to make Chris as comfortable in this situation as possible because no one wants this to ever happen again.
The door clicks and a nurse strides in smiling

"Visiting hours are now finishing, you may come back tomorrow if you'd like" she says directed at me. I stand from the bed and turn to Chris giving him an awkward hug and a weak smile. I reluctantly pull away and walk quickly from the room, leaving him.
I hate hospitals, I hate the memories they hold, I hate the way they make me feel but what I hate most is the gaze people give you as you walk by as if they are trying to determine why you are here in the first place.
If I'm honest, I'm scared. I'm scared that when they release him that he's going to try again or that he will quit the band and I don't want that to happen because I'm scared of what I would do if it did.

Jakob said he would wait for me in the waiting room so we could walk home together and I'm just glad he did, maybe it'll get my mind off of all of the things going on.
We walk home in bitter uncomfortable silence, neither of us really daring to say a word. What are we supposed to say in this situation? What are we supposed to do in this situation?

I shake my head trying to clear my mind as I step into my room finally checking my phone to see multiple texts from my girlfriend, Sarah.

From Sarah: Ethan why are you ignoring me?

To Sarah: I'm sorry there's just been a lot on my mind lately, I'll try harder

From Sarah: I don't know if I can be with someone who clearly is so self centred that he could never care for another

To Sarah: I care about you a lot Sarah, it's just something else I can't tell you

From Sarah: So now we're keeping secrets are we? Wow Ethan

To Sarah: You know if I could I would but it would jeopardise a lot right now.

From Sarah: I can't believe you're ruining our relationship for your precious ego. Y'know what I don't have time for your shit. We're done. I never liked you anyway.

Almost immediately my notifications start blowing up and I know this can't be good, I log into Instagram dreading what I'm going to see. I feel my heart sink in my chest when I see that Sarah has posted a bunch of crap about me and has taken a bunch of things out of context. I begin getting more and more comments coming in, some sticking by me but most is hate.
I can feel my whole body begin to shake, this can't be happening.

Ethan I really never thought you would cheat.

You'll burn in hell for your sins.
You sick bastard.

Tears begin to flow heavily and I sit against my bed reading as more and more comments come through.
Is this how Chris felt?
I would never wish this upon anyone, this is the last thing I need right now.
How are people actually believing Sarah? I would never cheat on anyone.

There's a sinking feeling in my chest and I feel as if the walls are closing in on me, why is this happening to me?

A/N: More drama woop woop but anyway this chapter sucks omg okay bye