Barely Breathing//Ethis

31||

Chris' point of view:

I was looking for Ethan because we had agreed to meet each other before our performances. We were going to practise a few times and give each other tips. I'm walking past a supply cupboard when I hear a small scream. I try to open the door but it's locked, so I keep banging at it until someone comes and opens it. It's a producer.

"What's up, Chris!?" He asked perkily.

"Um, is everything okay in there?"

I try to look around him but he blocks my view.

"Yeah! You better get backstage." He replies, gesturing back the direction I came from.

Something doesn't seem right but I'm in no position to argue. I walk back the way I came from but turn back around when the door closes. The lock clicks again and I rush back to listen. The small whimpers and screams start up again but I know I can't get back in.

"I know." I whisper remembering the events of that night, I could have saved him. It's my fault. I had blocked that from my mind in fear something bad was happening, and I was right.

I stand up and move across the room facing away from him starting it to cry, he probably hates me now.

I feel his hand on my shoulder and he turns me around, he jumps up and wraps is legs around my waist hugging me tight, I hug him back equally as tight and we both cry.

I try talking but nothing comes out and I'm unable to. It's not just Ethan. I've been barely breathing this whole time and I didn't even know.

"It's not your fault, it was going to happen anyway," he says as if he read my mind and is trying to ease the pain "If it wasn't you, someone else would have." He buries his head into my neck

"I could have saved you" I cry gripping his shirt in my hands

"Chris you did save me, maybe not then but you did."  He smiles weakly looking into my eyes

Ethan burst through the door of hair and makeup out of breath, I walk over to him and he keeps his head down as I stop in front of him.

"Are you okay?" I ask taking in his appearance, his messy hair, his fidgeting hands and the fact his shirt is on backwards as if he was in a rush when getting it on. He pushes past me and moves over to one of the stylists, he didn't answer my question.

"I think I always knew it was you," I tell him quietly "I didn't bring it up and I should have."

"It's okay, I wouldn't expect you to. I probably would've handled the situation badly, I wasn't ready to talk about it until I told you and Jake" he replies.

I walk back into his room with him still latched onto me like a koala not letting go even when I sit down.

He shifts uncomfortably and he grabs my hands that were resting around his waist and he moves them just under his arms

"Sorry" I mumble

"It's fine." He says leaning his head on my shoulder and he starts to cry again

"I know, I know" I say softly, my own tears still falling, his arms are wrapped tightly around my neck and his tears start to slow until he's just breathing heavily.

It's like we're holding each other together, each little broken and tainted piece together.

''Thank you so much for staying with me through all of this'' he says pulling back and looking at me