Barely Breathing//Ethis

30||

Caution: this chapter may contain some sensitive subjects for some people so please read with caution, ily all.

Ethan's point of view:

All the anger I was feeling moments ago is washed away and replaced with fear and my voice becomes small again

"I can't do that, no, no I can't."

"You can Ethan, I'll be there with you. You don't have to tell them everything you told me, just try your best" Chris encourages.

"Okay." I agree, I move off him and he stands up exiting the room, going to what I assume is to pack a bag.

It's going to happen, I'm going to tell my parents that I was sexually harassed and assaulted. I don't know how I'm going to bring it up or word what I want to say to them but I do know that their reaction most likely won't be good, imperfection isn't taken well in my family. In fact it's frowned upon. I constantly worry about letting them down and disappointing them, so much so that I was having panic attacks in the school bathrooms for getting a 'B' on a science test. Being away from them almost all of the time has given me a sense of relief but it just means they expect more from me, greater success and along with this comes more pressure. I'm finally starting to get used to it but sometimes they just push me too far. They forced me into The Voice Kids, knowing that I was a nervous wreck and I didn't have that much confidence in my voice. They forced me into acting knowing I already had body image issues and seeing myself on camera wouldn't help. They don't care if I'm crying at 2AM on the bathroom floor as long as I'm successful. Mum isn't as bad as dad at times, she understands that pushing me to breaking point isn't good but dad has no leverage and she tends to side with him. Either way I'm a failure and to them, that's all I'll ever be.

"Hey, hey don't cry" Chris says rushing forward and wiping the tears I didn't even know were falling.

"I'm sorry," I apologise ducking my head and staring down at my shoes "I'm just nervous"

"Don't apologise, it's okay" he says patting my back softly

The horn of a car sounds outside letting us know my mum is here to pick us up

"Jakob we're going!" Chris shouts closing the door behind us, I drag my feet along the ground until I get to the car, Chris gets in after me and I make sure I'm a good distance away from him.

"How are you?" Mum asks pulling out the driveway

"I'm great thank you, and yourself?" Chris asks making conversation

"I'm fantastic, I'm glad you're spending the weekend with us," she smiles "Ethan?" She says giving me a stern look through the mirror

"Sorry, uh yeah I'm good" I mumble breaking the eye contact feeling slightly intimidated

Chris senses this and immediately changes the subject.

"Thank you for letting me stay on such a short notice"

"Our pleasure, we haven't had any of Ethan's friends over in quite some time" mum smiles, mood instantly changing but I continue to stare out the window.

By now we have reached my house and we all get out of the car.

"Hi dad" I greet sitting down on the couch opposite him, it's probably best that we get all of the questions out of the way instead of my parents barging in on us in my room.

"It's nice to see you both again" dad replies and I nod in agreement giving Chris a sorry glance for the questions that are about to come.

"How's the band?" He asks as mum joins him on the couch