Barely Breathing//Ethis

33||

Unedited-ness bc I'm lazy

Jakob's point view:

"What the hell did you do to him?" I ask Chris annoyed

"I didn't do anything." He replies bluntly barely showing any interest

"Bullshit, he hasn't come out of his room in two days and you're telling me you didn't do anything?"

He rolls his eyes

"If you want to know so bad why don't you go ask him? I couldn't care less." He snaps

"Maybe I will." I return standing up and exiting the room.

"Ethan, can I come in?" I ask knocking on his door, I wait a few seconds for a response but there isn't one so I go ahead and walk in anyway. I walk over to him sitting in the corner and I sit beside him.

"Have you come to tell me I disappoint you too?" He asks quietly, almost scared of my answer.

"Never. Is that what Chris said?" I ask curiously, he nods slowly biting his bottom lip

"He got angry that I wasn't telling him everything about that night and he started yelling at me, he said I was starting to disappoint him. That's the last thing I ever wanted to do and I never expected him to say what he did, my heart shattered into tiny pieces. Now I don't know what to do, there's no way I can possibly face him now. I just keep letting everyone down Jake, I don't see the point in trying anymore." He tells me, he hasn't looked up at me yet and that's how I know he's trying to hide the fact that he's crying.

"It's going to be okay, I'm going to help sort everything out, okay?"

"It doesn't matter, I can't believe he stayed with me for that long. I always fuck everything up and it was only a matter of time before he got sick of me, just like everyone else." He mutters sighing

"He was just angry, Ethan. I know he loves you" I try my best to get him to look at me

"People that love you don't say what he said, and he's right, they're all right, I'm just a disappointment," he says and now I can actually hear him crying "as if my life wasn't bad already now I don't even have Chris, I need him Jake. I can't do this on my own." He tells me

"Is there anything I can do?" I ask him

His eyes move from my eyes to my lips and he slowly leans in closer to me and he kisses me. I don't pull away like he expects me to so he only pulls away when he needs air.

"I-I'm sorry" he says sitting back, unable to look at me

"Ethan, it's okay. Really it is, is that all you need?" I ask him softly he forces himself to look at me now and as he does I give him a reassuring smile. 

"Come on Etho" I say standing up and reaching out my arm, he takes it and pulls himself up coming dangerously close to my face, I can see him resist the urge to kiss me  again and he steps back.

"I think I'm going to try and get some sleep" he says quietly breaking the tension

"I'll go" I  reply turning around to leave

"No, stay please," he says quickly grabbing my arm and stopping me "I mean uh, only if you want to" he looks down dropping my arm and I can see him starting to doubt himself now

"Of course" I reply walking over to his bed and lying down, I stare at him waiting for him to join me but he doesn't move, he keeps his eyes fixated on the ground and he bursts into tears instead.

He slowly walks over to me and I catch him as he falls into his arms

"Everything's going to be alright" I whisper holding him in my arms

I may not be gay but I still let him kiss me and I'm letting him cry while I hold him in my arms. He needs me right now and I intend to be here for him whenever he needs me, he's so sad and broken and it just makes me angry at Chris knowing that he caused most of this.

"I'm sorry" he apologises leaving me somewhat confused as to why he is in the first place, as far as I know he has nothing to be sorry for

"For what?" I ask him softly

"For the nightmare I'm going to have." He says moving away from me onto the other side of the bed

"It's okay, you're safe." I remind him

"Thank you, Jakob" he whispers before his eyes close shut and he almost instantly falls into a deep sleep.

I intend to stay awake just in case he does have a nightmare I'll be able to help him, and it's lucky I did because no less than five minutes later does he start to show signs of any nightmares. His head starts thrashing from side to side and he kicks the covers off himself, a bead of sweat drips down his forehead as it creases.

"H-hurts" he whimpers moving around constantly as if he's trying to get an invisible force off of him

"Ethan." I say loudly, I prop myself up on my elbows and I turn to face him

"No, no, no please" he cries out bucking his hips

"Ethan it's just a dream" I tell him, I don't want to touch him in fear that I could make it worse but if he doesn't wake up soon I might just have to.

I can see him crying as he continues moving around and it breaks my heart that he has to relive what happened almost every night since it happened.

"I don't want to" he shakes his head sobbing now

"Ethan it's not real, you're safe" I say inching closer to him and reaching out my hand and placing it in his shoulder shaking him lightly

"No! Anything but that" he says sitting bolt upright, awake.