Barely Breathing//Ethis

11||

Chris' point of view:

They know. How could I be stupid enough to ever think that they wouldn't find out? No doubt Ethan told Jakob so now they're always going to be stepping on eggshells when they talk to me because they don't want to say anything wrong. Honestly I don't feel one bit better than I did when they admitted me and there's nothing stopping me from trying again when I get out, I doubt the hate has stopped because I don't see a reason for it to, I mean the boys haven't told them I tried to commit suicide because of it.
If I'm honest part of me does feel guilty because Ethan and Jake were so worried about me, Ethan practically had to fight me to stop me from going through with it. My parents are  probably really upset and ashamed of me. If the fans ever find out some of them will be shattered because I'm known as the fun, always happy, innocent Chris, and now I don't even know who I am.

I'm pulled from my thoughts when a loud ping rings out bringing a silence to the room. Ethan reaches for his pocket unlocking his phone and checking on the notification, I can't quite pinpoint what emotion washes over his face but he doesn't intend on talking about it that's for sure.

"Ethan." Jakob warns sending Ethan a glare, Ethan's eyes flicker from Jakob back to his screen before he takes a deep breath shutting off his phone.

"Am I missing something?" I ask furrowing my brows as I look between the two boys sitting beside me.

"Uh no, no nothing" Ethan rushes looking a little worried, dismissing his odd behaviour with a shake of my head I take now as a good time to ask them all about what's been happening, seeing as though no one else wants to tell me.

"So uh how's everything? Have the fans asked about me?" I ask hopefully

"Yeah everything's good I guess, some of the fans have asked about you seeing as though you haven't been active on any social media for about a week"

Jakob replies but I feel like he's leaving out something on purpose, something they don't want to tell me.

"What if I'm not out in time for our week four performance? What if we get eliminated for it?" I say more to myself than to the boys

"Chris it will be okay, we'll work it out." Ethan says calmly flashing me a small smile. As much as his kind words stop my speaking, they certainly don't stop the thoughts seeping in from every inch of my mind.

This could ruin our career. We'll be a 'has been' a 'one hit wonder' all because of me. If I'm not out Jakob and Ethan will simply not be able to perform because I'd prefer that Luke didn't announce that In Stereo couldn't perform because I tried to kill myself. That would give us all sort of bad publicity, not to mention what people would think. Most adults think that we're a wannabe One Direction and that we don't deserve the attention we're being given. There's so much more to us than what the papers print or what news articles publish, we're following our dream and despite all of this drama we are trying our best to stay grounded, after all we are only three teenage boys from Sydney but people seem to forget that. We're treated like kids and yet we are expected to act like adults, it honestly makes no sense.

Ethan has now pulled his phone back out and by now is looking quite distressed, seeing this also Jakob stands from his seat

"We better be going then," he says glancing down at Ethan "Ethan let's go"
This causes Ethan to snap his head up and he joins Jakob standing, Ethan walks over to me and pulls me into a hug and we stay like that for a few seconds before he pulls away, with that both him and Jake leave not saying another word.

Ethan's point of view:

"Stop reading it." Jakob states almost immediately after we exit Chris' room