Barely Breathing//Ethis

103||

Chris' point of view:

The nurses had set up an extra bed for me to sleep on, the only problem is it's on the other side of Ethan's room and I don't want to be that far away from him. 

We're sat on his bed, his head is resting on my shoulder and we're both silent.

"It's so hot and I'm so tired" Ethan mumbles breaking that silence, only now do I notice that he's sweating.

"You shouldn't be wearing jeans anyway Ethan, or that jumper." I tell him with a sigh

"I was cold before." He says lying on his back "I'm too tired to take them off"

"I can do it." I suggest, I mean it in the least sexual way possible, I don't even think he cares because he doesn't reply.

I get up off the bed and pull Ethan gently to the edge so it'll be easier. I know I have to be careful doing this.

I start with his socks. I take his socks off and put them on the table.

I'm about to start with his pants but I stop myself. Gentle.

"I'm just going to undo your zipper okay?" I tell him, I don't want him to freak out.

I slowly reach over and pull down the zipper on his jeans.

Ethan's breath hitches the tiniest bit.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. It's just me, it's only Chris" I remind him softly

He doesn't say anything.

I undo the button on his jeans and I move my hands down so I can get his jeans off easier.

I look back at Ethan, his eyes look scared but he hasn't objected yet.

"Ethan it's okay, look into my eyes. It's me."

His eyes slowly meet mine and I try to shift his jeans further down without looking.

"I can see the green" Ethan says quietly

"What?" I ask slightly confused but glad that he's not focusing completely on what I'm doing.

"The green in your eyes." He says "people say you have brown eyes but you don't. They're not just brown. Things are never just one thing. That's how I know this doesn't define me, you showed me that."

"Really?" I ask, his jeans are almost off and I know I probably have to distract him now more than before. "Your eyes have specks of yellow in them and they aren't that soft kind of brown either, they're more of an intense kind of brown, dark. I could stare into them all day and never get tired of it, they're beautiful you know that?"

Jeans off.

I hang his jeans over the chair and turn back to him.

He's got his hands resting on the sides of his head and he's staring up at the ceiling.

"Ethan it's still me, it's okay"

I take his hand and gently pull him to a sitting position.

"I'm gonna take your jumper off now, alright?" I tell him

I take his arm and carefully take it out the sleeve, this ones the sore one. I do the same with the other and pull the jumper over his head.

I place the jumper over the chair and face Ethan again. His shirt is practically sticking to him and I know I'm going to have to take that off too.

"I'm going to take your shirt off, is that okay?" I ask him softly

He doesn't reply.

I sigh and take his shirt off, I put it with the rest of his clothes.

"Eth?" I say quietly when he doesn't move "Ethan are you okay?"

He snaps out of his little trance and looks up at me. He stands up and pulls back the covers of his bed, he climbs in and pulls the covers over himself almost completely.

"Sorry, it's hard to break old habits."

His eyes are still scared and I just want to make everything better but I don't know how. This is something I can't fix.

I lift the covers up slowly and slide in next to him.

"I think the nurses are gonna be thankful you're here tonight."

"What do you mean?" I ask propping myself up with my elbow

"It means I won't wake everyone up with my screaming." He mumbles

I sigh.

"They don't know how to calm me down like you do. In fact they can't calm me down at all, they just give me more pills but that makes it worse. That means I go back to sleep and I'm calm but I can't wake up from the nightmare and it replays over and over and over and over.."

"You haven't told them about it?" I ask a little confused

"No, of course not." He says like its the most obvious thing in the world

"And why not?"

"Because then I'll be in here even longer. I can talk about it pretty openly with you but that's because you're you. I wouldn't be able to do that with a stranger. It's easier this way, trust me." He explains

"I texted Jakob earlier and he said that he'd bring both of us clean clothes to wear tomorrow. We can spend the day together, all three of us." I smile

"I haven't seen Jakob in a while" he nods the tiniest bit

"You have to eat a little bit of every meal too, please" I pout hoping he'll agree

"Whatever" he dismisses the subject "so how are the fans?"

"They don't know." I confirm for him "if that's what you mean. I've been posting for you, just so they don't get suspicious."

"Thank you." He smiles

"I'm sorry I know you're really tired. You can sleep if you want to?" I tell him once I notice his eyes starting to droop

"That sounds nice." He mutters moving even closer to me than we already were in this single bed "please don't go."

"I won't go anywhere." I assure him as I wrap my arm around his waist

"Please be here in the morning too." He mumbles nuzzling his head into my chest

"I will be, don't worry Bear."

A/N: if someone turns my cute chapter into something sexual I will whoop your ass :)) love you all