Barely Breathing//Ethis

51||

Chris' point of view:

He lays in my arms until he's finally able to stop crying and he's so tired that simply falls asleep. I don't blame him though, he's had a long day.
I run a finger lightly over his arm making small patterns, I can see a few faded scars scattered across it and it makes me sad at the thought of him hurting himself. I know he hasn't for a while, at least from what I can see. He normally tells me.

He looks so peaceful when he's asleep; when he's not having a nightmare that is. He hasn't had a nightmare in a while either and I don't want anything to trigger that which is why I know I definitely can't tell him about the comment Jeremy left on my photo.

My thoughts are cut off when he begins to stir and his eyes flutter open delicately.

"Chris?" his voice is all raspy

"I'm right here bear," I tell him softly "you're right here"

"Thank you for being so nice" he says rubbing his eyes

"You know you don't have to thank me" I laugh softly

"What time is it?" He asks sleepily, I reach for my phone on the bedside table clicking the home screen as I hand him his phone as well.

"9:25pm"

"Ugh, I'm not going to get back to sleep," He sighs unlocking his phone and going on Instagram "should I post something? I haven't in a while."

"Sure why not?" I reply opening up my own Instagram, sort of just waiting for him to post it, I refresh my feed and see he posted a blurry photo of us walking under streetlights with my arm is around him.

"This was a good night" I smile liking the photo and taking a screenshot of it

"Everything was so simple" he sighs resting his head on my shoulder

"Come on get up" I tell him

"Why?" He whines moving anyway

"Because, we're making a fort" I tell him standing up and grabbing his arm and pulling him with me into the hallway, I open the cupboard and start taking out blankets and extra pillows, handing some to him. We carry them back to my room and drop them all on the floor.

"Let's get started."

Half an hour later after many failed attempts and throwing of pillows we finally set up a successful fort, using my bed head as a base. We piled pillows on one another until it was high enough to make a roof then we set up the rest of the pillows and blankets inside making it as comfortable as possible.

"There's something missing." Ethan stands back and observes

"Wait here." I say exiting the room again and walking downstairs, I make my way into the backyard and I collect the fairy lights that are tangled in the hammocks before I return with them back to my room.

Ethan's already inside the fort when I get back, I flick the fairy lights on and put them carefully on top of the roof and on my bed head then climbing inside and joining him.

"This is a safe place, all our secrets stay inside this fort, okay?" I whisper getting comfortable, he nods

"This is nice" he smiles looking up at the fairy lights that are now illuminating all the shadows

"It is," I agree looking at him as he stares up completely in awe, even in this dim lighting his eyes manage to sparkle brightly and he looks as beautiful as ever. "You're beautiful and I love you"

His eyes meet mine and I can see the pink tinge making it way to his cheeks, it's cute that he blushes whenever I compliment him. He shakes his head and looks back at me, serious now.

"You know I always thought if you knew me, you'd view me the way I view myself," he tells me "but somehow, you're still here, and I think I'm very much in love with you."

"How do you view yourself?" I ask moving closer to him

"Badly" is all he says

"Come on Etho, this is a no judging zone" I nudge his shoulder playfully

"I'm nothing," he sighs, his lip almost quivering

"Don't say that," I say "it's not true"

Seeing him hurt makes me hurt, and I'm glad I don't have to lie to make him feel better. I am telling the truth, and that's the best part.

"But-"

I cut him off "No, don't start."

"You don't understand," he argues

"No, you don't understand," I tell him firmly "because when I look at you, I see someone with potential and a purpose. You are an art museum full of the most beautiful art pieces, and everyone that thinks otherwise, they've just got their eyes closed, you just need to find a way to reopen yours."

"You're the most amazing person" he leans into me and I lose my balance falling onto my side but not before I grab his waist and pull him with me

"Thank you," I smile fixing his hair "thank you for saving me"

"And how did I save you?" He questions

"I used to be really sad, remember? But you, you helped me through it. And I could not be any more thankful because with you I'm as happy as I ever could be. I'm determined to help you too, baby boy." I whisper moving my face closer to his and pecking his lips

"It feels like so long ago" he adds.

There's a silence and I take this time to just soak in the pure peace and simplicity of this whole situation. Just being here with Ethan is enough for me, and I know he always will be.

"Chris," he whispers breaking the silence "we actually told your parents and now I don't know what's going to happen, they can actually do something about it. And that scares me."

"Why does it scare you?" I ask him

"Because before it was a tiny secret, but now so many other people could get involved and then there'll be all of these questions, what if the fans find out? What will we do then?" He says quickly, not thinking before he speaks

"Ethan my parents can help, and if there are questions you don't want to answer then you don't have to, it's as simple as that. Same goes if the fans find out." I reassure him

"You're right. I just don't know if I could handle it that well if they found out."

A/N: *sighs* it's not cute