Barely Breathing//Ethis

97||

A/N: This is just chapter 97 re updated because for some reason half of it deleted so yeah :)

Chris' point of view:

I don't know how long I've been standing outside Ethan's room but I haven't moved. He's awake and there's a doctor in his room talking to him, Ethan's not meeting his eyes though. He's looking down at his arm and playing with the wristband on it.

"Chris, honey it's okay" I recognise mums voice beside me, she puts her arm around me and squeezes my shoulder.

"I think I'm allowed to see him soon." I answer, ignoring her comment. Yes it's okay, but I'm not.

"That's good, isn't it? He's going to need you just as much as you need him right now." She says, I nod

"Do you think the doctor is leaving? It looks like he's going to leave" I say watching the doctor intently, he turns and walks towards the door. I immediately rush forward and stand in front of him.

"Can I see him now? Please say I can see him now." I ask him desperately

"The answer is still no, you have asked me a total of five times and each time is no. He has to be moved to the psychiatric ward before he can have visitors. But before we can even do that we must have a parent or guardian sign paperwork." He tells me, I sigh in defeat. I wasn't really expecting this time to be any different, I'm just anxious to see him.

"Oh, I'll fill out all the paperwork." Mum steps forward with a smile

I re join Jakob outside of Ethan's window while mum and dad follow the doctor. The urge to go inside has never been this bad, he's awake.

"Do you think I could sneak in for like a second?" I whisper, more to myself that Jakob.

"No, don't." Jakob tells me "you can see him soon but not now, okay?"

I sigh with a nod.

"Hey, why don't we go for a bit of a walk?" He suggests

I don't reply, instead I turn away from Ethan's window and start walking down the hallway, Jakob follows.

"I wish I could have done something." I say as soon as he catches up to me

"Chris you did everything you could. Nothing you could have done would have changed his mind, or made him want to tell you why. Ethan's the type of person that when his mind is made up, you can't change it. You know that." He tells me

"Yeah, I guess"

"You love him and he knows that, he loves you too and if he can't find the will to survive and get better for himself then he'll do it for you." He stops and looks at me, so I stop too.

"I know you're right, I know that but I'm just scared for him. I'm scared Jakob, I'm just scared." I admit, I run my hand through my hair and pull at it.

I can see him soon, I just have to hold on to that.

"Can we go back to him now, please?" I ask, starting to get anxious

He nods and we start walking back to Ethan's room.

When we get there the room is empty, Ethan's not here.

"Where is he?!" I push open the door and walk into the room "why isn't he here?! Where is he?!"

"Chris," Jakob says putting a hand on my shoulder, I shake him off "he's still here, we can find him."

The same nurse as yesterday happens to walk past the room and I quickly run back out the room and chase after her.

"Do you know where he was moved to?" I ask pointing back to Ethan's room

"Yes. He was moved to the psychiatric ward, this way." She informs us before she starts to walk down the hallway

I'm not surprised that they've moved him to the psychiatric ward if I'm completely honest, I almost expected it but not knowing where he was still put me on edge.

After going down many long hallways and through locked doorways you can only get through with a card or being buzzed in we finally reach the psychiatric ward. It's obvious why he's been moved here, I was here too but I have a feeling Ethan's going to be staying longer than I did.

The nurse leads Jakob and I inside where we're met with more doors and another reception, waiting area and cafeteria. It's like a whole hospital inside a hospital, except this is a lot nicer looking and a lot more welcoming and friendly, well as much as it possibly can be.

She takes us to one of the rooms and we stand outside for a few moments.

"You're allowed to see him now. Only one of you." She looks between us "you have to be careful with him, situations like these make the patients very delicate"

She then leaves us alone.

"I'll wait over there." Jakob says

I take a deep breath and open the door to Ethan's room. I walk in and quietly close the door, there's a doctor speaking to Ethan. Ethan looks over at me and his eyes immediately light up. I walk across the room slowly trying to be as quiet as possible when I sit down on the chair closest to Ethan's bed, not wanting to interrupt the doctor.

Ethan looks back at the doctor, that's when I take in his appearance.

His hair is a mess, falling over his face and covering his eye. His eyes are glazed over, lacking the sparkle that was there moments ago when he saw me. His skin is paler than I've ever seen it before, he's usually so tan. He's skinnier, so much skinnier, or he just appears that way now that I'm actually paying attention. He's always been skinny, but never this skinny.

"Now, I'll leave you. I believe you two have some catching up to do." The doctor says, acknowledging me now. Then he leaves us alone.

I don't speak and neither does Ethan, he plays with the bandage on his arm instead of looking at me. I lean forward in the chair and breathe out shakily.

"I was so scared that you were going to die." I say, my voice breaking the tiniest bit before I start crying, I rest my hands on the side of the bed and stare at the ground.

A few moments pass before I feel his hand on mine, it's cold. He takes my hand and places it on his chest. I can feel his heartbeat.

"Do you feel that? It's beating for you. Only you." He says quietly

I stand up and climb onto his bed, I rest my head on his chest and curl myself into a ball, just listening to his heartbeat. He's okay.

He starts to run a hand through my hair slowly over and over again. That's when the tiredness really kicks in and my eyes become droopy. Not sleeping in two days has taken its toll on me and when my eyes close I don't have the energy to open them again, so I sleep with the comfort of Ethan's heartbeat.