The Goblin Adventures

Part 14

“I don’t believe it,” said Dread Beard, “you killed one with arrows. I stopped trying to shoot them years ago and started trapping them instead.”

  “Oi, you two,” Ugbash directed Wibble and Wobble, “pick it up and carry it off the beach.”

  “Is it really dead?” asked a quivering Wobble.

  “Stop quivering Wobble and do as I say.”

  Wibble and Wobble carried/dragged it to the rocks just below the pirate/hunter’s cottage. Idunno and Pan Head had made their way back by this time.

  “Idunno,” called Ugbash.

  “What?”

  “You and Chop go for the junk mobile while we rest here.”

  Chop grumbled under his breath, “I shoot the blummin umma and I’ve got to walk to the stupid car.”

  “Here,” said Ugbash as he threw them some coins, “buy yourselves an ice cream.”

  Chop stopped grumbling as he picked the money up.

  “Do you want another cuppa while you wait?” asked Dread Beard.

  “Why that would be most quinteemerable my good Captain. You were a pirate captain weren’t you?”

  “Noooo, the cook, but I like the ring of captain. Captain Dread Beard.”

  “The scourge of the seven galleys,” quipped Pan Head.

  “Aye I was that lad. Ne’er a shipmate would enter my galley for fear of a fillet knife between their ribs.”

  “I must say,” said Ugbash, “you do have a colourful way of talking.”

  “You’re not bad at colouring your speech either,” said Dread Beard as he led them back into his home.

Idunno and chop got back to the junk mobile, “Awww, stupid dwarf copper!” grumbled Idunno.

  “What’s the matter?” asked Chop.

  “We’ve got a parking ticket. I don’t want to have to shell out for a ticket,” he got a black pen out and changed the number plate on the ticket. “Here Chop, put this on that car over there.”

  Chop took the ticket and surreptitiously placed it under the car’s windscreen wiper. “I bet the Author couldn’t spell that without looking at Google,” he noted.

  “What?” asked Idunno.

  “Surretipisly,”

  “He might not be able to spell it, but you can’t even say it.”

  “Maybe not but at least I did it!”

They both got into Idunno’s vehicle and drove to the cove. But before they did Chop reminded Idunno that they had not bought an ice cream yet. So before they drove to the cove they stopped at an ice cream vendor who was parked at the side of the road.

  “Hello,” said the ice cream vendor, “what would you like?”

  “99,” said Chop.

  “A 99 or 99 ice creams?” inquired the vendor.

  “A 99 mate, I’ve only got 4 gold coloured coins.”

  “And what will it be for you?” asked the vendor of Idunno.

  “Oooh, have you got a Creamy Dreamy lolly ice.”

  “Ice lolly.”

  “I say lolly ice.”

  “No.”

  “I can say lolly ice if I want.”

  “You may be able to but we haven’t got any.”

  “Aww, alright then I’ll have a….” said Idunno as he looked at all of the stickers on the ice cream vendor’s van.

This is a sample of the first Goblin Adventure story.