D’ark struggled but was able to use his incredible super strength (C.O. The Mixer) to bend the structure out of shape so that he could fit down.
“Uh oh, I think I have knocked him towards his objective.” The Black Goblin reached in to grab D’ark’s feet.
“Unhand me you bounder.”
“You Sirrah are the bounder.”
“Let go of my tootsies.”
“Let go of my money.”
D’ark thought for a moment, “Let’s split it 50/50.”
“Normally I might agree to that,” said the Goblin, “but there seems to be no honour among thieves.”
“You little, pointy eared, genetically cloned, grey skinned, pipsqueak.”
“Now now D’ark, there’s no need to be racially insensitive.”
D’ark kicked around, “Try saying that after I have bashed your face in,” but the Goblin held him firmly.
“We seem to be at a bit of an impasse,” noted the Goblin, “your extra super powers seem to count for nothing.”
“I can’t understand it,” thought D’ark, “I have four super powers and you only have two. What are your Achilles’ heels again?”
“I’m not going to remind you.”
“Was flatulence one? That usually goes with flying.”
The Black Goblin kept quiet.
“Or was one of them bad breath? I know I have bad breath with one of mine.”
“I’m sure if I had bad breath that would be useful information to help you escape with my money. I know yours anyway, they are, cannot tie your shoelaces, bad breath, smelly feet and flatulence.”
“So you’ve done your homework.”
“What do you need the money for anyway?”
“I need to buy my super hero drugs. Emperor Imperator has stopped funding me for two of them. He says I’m not worth it.”
“Which two will you lose?”
“Well, I like flying, so I’m not going to give that up, and I think I’ll keep my super strength.”
“So you’ll be like me then. Hey, we should become a duo the Black Lord and the Black Goblin.”
“D’ark Lord, not Black.”
“Change your name.”
“No, you change your name. Mine is my family name.”
“Mine is my race.”
“Are you serious? I have just tried to steal $100,000 off you and you want us to get together as a duo?”
“If I call myself the Dark Goblin and let you have $25,000 will you do it?”
“Call yourself D’ark Goblin and give me $50,000 and I’ll do it.”
“D’ark and $30,000 and I won’t tear your boots off and tickle your tootsies.”
“You can’t do that to me. That is a wicked thing to do.”
“I am an anti-hero so I can do things like that.”
“Ok deal,” said D’ark as he squirmed in his boots hoping the Goblin wouldn’t tickle them.
The Black (newly renamed) D’ark Goblin lifted D’ark out.
“Great,” said the Author, “you’re both called D’ark, how difficult is that now for me to write your conversations.”
D L and DG looked at each other. “Did you hear that DL?” said DG.
“Yes DG,” said DL.
YOU ARE READING
The Goblin Adventures
FantasyWe meet Ugbash, Pan Head, Wibble, Wobble, Chop and Idunno from The Crying Pennant in a short serialised story where they go hunting for squink. Then we meet Bip, Bop, Battam, Ugz, Bugz and Tongs the Goblin Space Marines who along with Sergeant Griml...
