The Mixer entered the embassy via the heliport. He went to the office near the meeting room. A queue started to form of those anti-heroes who needed to resupply their superhero drugs. The first in was the Squidget.
“Hello Squidget,” said the Mixer, “You are allowed 30 phials of shrinking potion.”
“Fanks,” said the Squidget.
"Lost your th’s? That’s a side effect of stretchiness isn’t it?”
“Cheeky, vat’s how I speak,” said the Squidget as he picked up his allowance.
The Mixer ticked off a box next to the Squidget’s name on a clip board.
The next in was D’ark Goblin, “Hi Doc.”
“You get 30 super strengths and 30 flights.”
“Can I have a couple of invulnerabilities and two super speeds?”
“That’s 20K each,” said the Mixer.
“I only have 70K. Can I owe you 10K?”
“I tell you what. I am testing a new drug. If you take it and use it I’ll give you what you want for 70K.”
“What is the new drug?” inquired DG.
“It inhibits your evil tendencies.”
“What good is that to me? I am part of the Evil League. I’m supposed to be evil.”
“Take it or leave it.”
“Would it stop me stealing things?”
“Yes.”
“Would it stop me beating people up?”
“Yes.”
“Well where’s all the fun going to go if I can’t nick things and beat people up?”
“It’s only for 24 hours, I’m sure you can go for 24 hours without stealing anything or beating anybody up.”
“Oh, I suppose so.”
“You need to take it now so I can see how you change.”
“What! Can’t I just do a quick bit of armed robbery with grievous bodily harm?”
“Just drink it.” The Mixer gave the D’ark Goblin a shimmering blue phial.
“Blue eh,” noted DG, “mine are usually shimmering green ones.” He opened his mouth and knocked it back. “Oh I forgot to ask, what’s the Achilles’ heel?”
“Forgetfulness.”
“What did I just ask you?” The D’ark Goblin started to leave the office.
“Hang on,” said the Mixer, ”take these with you.” He handed a box of phials to the D’ark Goblin.
Lord D’ark was next in line, “What good is that anti-evil potion if he can’t remember anything?”
“It is based on a recipe stolen from the government. I need to see if he remembers anything afterwards. If it is selective memory loss and he can still function without behaving in an evil way then it’s worth keeping in stock for those criminals who wish to stay on the straight and narrow.”
“I was on the Straight and Narrow once.”
“Really?”
“Yes it’s a pub near London, I was fixing the roof.”
YOU ARE READING
The Goblin Adventures
FantasíaWe meet Ugbash, Pan Head, Wibble, Wobble, Chop and Idunno from The Crying Pennant in a short serialised story where they go hunting for squink. Then we meet Bip, Bop, Battam, Ugz, Bugz and Tongs the Goblin Space Marines who along with Sergeant Griml...
