Im Not a Monster

Chapter 26:Nightmare

"I'm cold." I said

Jared opened his arms. I laugh and let him hold me. He stroked his thumb on my shoulder. He kept me warm. He kept me chill.

I look up at him and smile.

"Thank you." I whispered.

"You still cold?" He chuckled

"No I'm actually not cold. I just wanted you to hold me."

"You slick bitch." He laughed

For a brief moment I had a flashback. The joker coming out of his Lamborghini with that evil grin. That smile. That smile filled my mind.

"You okay?"

"I-I think I'll just have to sleep for a little bit. Not too long. Just like thirty minutes that's all. I need to rest the stress off."

"Oh-o-okay. If you have to go to another room I'm okay with that. You might want to be alone if your feeling that."

"No-no actually. I'll stick to being by your side. You make me feel comfortable."

"Okay." He whispered with a weak smile.

"Thanks." I said leaning up to give him a kiss.

I rest my head on his lap and pull the plush blanket over me. Eventually I drift off to sleep.

*~*~*

He grabbed me by my hair and banged my head against a wall. I screamed in pain.

"Stop!"

He grinned and bursted out laughing.

"Come...harleen behahahaha!"

I frown and kick him in the knee.

"If you ever have trouble you know where to go..the asylums not that hard to live in." He teased

I just kept on running and running down a pitch back path. I couldn't see anything. I couldn't see where I was going. I turn to my right and make it inside an asylum room. I notice that fog started building up in the corner of the room. It fades away. I shut my eyes and hear laughter. It was him. I feel a rough hand stroke my face. I get pulled into the jokers chest.

"Shhhh shhh,go to sleep go to sleep!" He sang

"You monster!" I said shoving him off of me.

He puts his hands in the air and weakly grins.

"Oh honey.....I'm not a Monster."

He laughed and the lights went out. It was dark. There was no sight and no sound of the joker. My heart was about to come out of my chest. I put my hands out to see if I felt anything. I was walking blind.  I soon find my way to a table. I slide under and sat. down. something grasped my ankle. I scream while getting pulled. I grab ahold of a leg on the table. Laughter filled the room. My head gets smashed into the concrete floor. I turn around and the lights were on,but I was in a different room. I was in my house. I see that the only light is coming from the candles on my tables. In the hallway there was no light. I turn around to my front door. It was locked. I unlock the top and then the handle. All of a sudden my radio turns on. Circus music started playing. The door opens. I didn't open it.

"Needed help wit dat!? Ahahahahahaa!"

I was once again facing the clown prince of crime.

"No,no no no please don't!" I yelled putting my hands up.

He grabs me my hair and waist and walks behind me. He pushes me to my backyard were the lake was.

"Hey what? What are you doing!?"

"We're gonna go for a swim...or should I say...dive?" He laughed

"What? But-no,no you are not!"I hissed struggling to get out of his grip

"Don't scream."

"What!?"

He gets in front of me and kicks me in the stomach. I fall down groaning,My hand on my stomach and the other holding me up. The joker walked to the lake and felt the water.

"Perfect temperature!!" He said jumping up and down.

I get up and start running to my house. I open the door and walk inside. I was in a different place. It looked like the inside of a circus. I see a large door and go in. It was a room full of mirrors. I turn to go back in the main area of the circus but the door was gone.  I started hearing a whisper.

"Margot?...hehe oops sorry...that's not your name.."

"What?!" I asked

I looked at myself in the mirror and my face was fucked up. I had bruises and cuts. My arms were full of injuries. I look closer and see a figure behind me. My heart started beating fast. It all of a sudden got hot. I feel a tap on my shoulder. I look up at myself and see the joker next to me holding in a laugh. I turn around and back up. He was gone.

"Harley.."

I sit down and pull in my hair. I was about to go crazy. I started seeing spiral images. Everything was spinning. The joker comes up to me and starts laughing. He bends down and we make eye contact.

"Look at ya..this is a shame. Stop being your normal self. Wake up to reality. You can be so much better...you can be free,you can definitely be happy to! All you gotta do is change."

"Change into what!?"

"Change into what you desire!"

I look away and squeeze my eyes shut. He starts dying of laughter.

"Time for ya to wakey wakey! See ya next time..Harley."

*~*

"Hey?....hello!" I heard a voice say.

"Don't-......stop." I mumbled quietly

I wake up instantly. I stand up and run to my bathroom.

"Margot?" I heard Jared ask

I turn on the sink and splash water in my face. I look at myself in the mirror.
Should I change-what the hell am I talking about. I bite in my nail and walk back and forward.

"What the fuck." I whispered to myself

"Calm down..calm down..it was just a nightmare...just a nightmare."

I heard a voice in the back of my head. It was wanting me to show my other side. My new other side. Should I? Should I just fuck everything and be what I want to?

What in the hell am I thinking about. This shouldn't even be a question. I can't be that. I can't change my behavior into something crazy as fuck.
That's a crazy decision. What the heck.

Fuck it. Fuck everything. Be what your minds telling you ta do. Just do it. It's your life. Your choice. You only live once.

"Oh my goodness." I groaned

I looked at the mirror and stared at myself. I sigh.

"Shit."