ISTJ:
"I resolve to be less regimented and spend more time relaxing"
Outcome- schedules relaxation between 3:15 and 3:42pm each afternoon, during which time they create detailed lists of how they will relax on the following days
ISTP:
"I resolve to get serious about one of my side interests and turn it into a profitable enterprise"
Outcome- develops a keen interest in entrepreneurship, which they thoroughly analyse and develop ideas about.
ESTP:
"I resolve to think through the consequences of my actions before I make them"
Outcome- adheres to their resolution for the first two to four days before being presented with a better plan and impulsively getting on board with that instead.
ESTJ:
"I resolve to find subtler ways of letting everyone know that my way is always the best way"
Outcome- loudly announces to colleagues that they all ought to make the same New Years resolution
ISFJ:
"I resolve to spend more time focusing on what I want instead of catering to the needs of others"
Outcome- Mercilessly commits to the resolution until a loved one implies that it's inconveniencing them.
ISFP:
"I resolve to give myself more credit for my talents and advocate for my own abilities"
Outcome- Sits down to review their strengths, decides on twelve new ways in which their art form is imperfect and gets back to working on perfecting it.
ESFP:
"I resolve to party less... On weeknights... Before 5pm..."
Outcome- drunkenly announced their resolution to five hundred of their closest friends on Thursday January first, at the bar, at 4pm
ESFJ:
"I resolve to gossip less and accept others' choices without judgement"
Outcome- phones their closest friend to ask what their resolution is and then phones fourteen of their other closest friends to discuss their first friends resolution in totally nonjudgemental detail
INFJ:
"I resolve to be less of a perfectionist and share more of myself with others"
Outcome- refuses to disclose resolution to others, for fear that they will have to admit failure if they do not achieve it.
INFP:
"I resolve to stop falling in love with the idea of people and being disappointed when their reality doesn't match up"
Outcome- explains this resolution in a heartfelt letter to their love interest, who they just know will understand
ENFP:
"I resolve to make less than thirty new years resolutions this year, and keep at least two of them"
Outcome- stays up for fourteen straight days in an attempt to complete the first resolution, and subsequently creates fifteen more
ENFJ:
"I resolve to avoid meddling in the lives of my loved ones, even if they are making a mistake"
Outcome- allows their friends to fail at their New Years resolutions, then sits each of them down to talk about what went wrong and how they can fix it
INTJ:
"I resolve to listen to the opinions of my less intelligent underlings"
Outcome- derives motivation from the opinions of commoners to fuel a series of research projects that prove everyone's opinions to be indisputably wrong.
INTP:
"I resolve to find practical implications for my work, since the physical world does, unfortunately, exist"
Outcome- derives a theoretical implication for the practicality of their latest project and considers their resolution a success.
ENTP:
"I resolve to only turn every other conversation into a heated dispute"
Outcome- finds an unsuspecting ESFJ to debate the practicality of this resolution with
ENTJ:
"I resolve to screw over marginally less of my colleagues as I fearlessly charge towards success"
Outcome- keeps a detailed chart of coworkers they are not preying on. Eventually hires a colleague to manage this chart as the ENTJ rises above them professionally.
