Stand By You (Troyler AU)

Bathrooms

Tyler ran up the stairs as fast as his legs would carry him. He stumbled up the last few steps before speeding into his bathroom. He immediately threw up into the toilet in front of him his eyes burning with tears. "What the fuck is wrong with me" he cried resting his head on the side of the bathtub. 

He shifted and flushed the sick away before moving in front of the sink you ruin everything his thoughts started bubbling up you can't even enjoy one night of being normal you have to come up here a be a fucking mess the tears running down his face as he looked at his reflection and Beth's voice pounded into his head

-Flash back-

"are you sure you wanna eat that all, the other kids are going to stay stuff about you" Beth's words stung like poison

"You're right" Tyler said placing the chicken sandwich in the bin

"babe I do it because I wanna be with you and I can't if you look like this all the time" Beth motion up and down Tyler's figure

"I-I'm heading to the gym now" Beth grabbed Tyler's wrist and Tyler flinched and tried to step away

"MATHEW" Beth scolded "Don't act like this is public! be a scared little freak at home" Tyler tried to relax as Beth pulled him closer

-End Flash Back-

Tyler could still feel the tingling sensation in his wrist where Beth would grab hold. All of the words still stung like lemon in a fresh cut and Tyler just let the tears fall as he sunk to the floor in front of the mirror. He took an unsteady breath, Troye didn't deserve this Tyler thought Troye deserved forever not a boy looking for better. Tyler was broken, damaged, and weak, Troye need someone strong, who could protect him. Friends are supposed to be there for one another not constantly worrying about when they each would break.

"Ty" Troye's soft voice floated into the bathroom and Tyler exhaled and closed his eyes "I told you I'd be right back" Tyler said not moving to get off the bathroom floor

Troye walked further into Tyler's bedroom, the room was dark and the only light was coming from the open bathroom door. He looked at the light spilling into the bedroom. Troye turned and clicked Troye's bedroom door shut and walked into the door of the bathroom. He looked down at Tyler before sitting on the ground next to him. Neither one of the boys said anything as they sat next to each other with a silence humming through the bathroom.

"I've never been good with words" Troye said suddenly minutes later, "I've never been good with words Tilly and I-I don't know what to say." Tyler closed his eyes and tears moved down his cheeks "You don't have to hide this, I am here for you, y-you don't have to push me away. Please don't push me away" Troye whispered holding back his tears, he knew that he need to break through Tyler's walls but he didn't know how

Tyler let out a breath and rested his head on Troye's shoulder. Troye relaxed and let Tyler's mint hair brush against the side of his cheek. They sat there in the quiet and Troye stared down at Tyler hand that was laying on the ground palm up between them. Troye moved his hand slowly and placed his hand on top of Tyler's. Tyler laced their fingers together and Troye could feel the tears soaking his jumper. Troye pulled their interwound hands up and kissed Tyler's knuckles lightly. He had so many questions but he didn't want to flood Tyler. Suddenly Troye was sick of the silence. They always sat in silence and now Troye needed to know what was going on and how Tyler was feeling.

"Ty..." Troye said softly "Please talk to me, I need to know the hell is going on" He waited as Tyler sniffled and brought his free hand to his face. He reached two fingers under his glasses to rub his eyes "Well its Christmas Eve and soon we are going to go watch the Polar Express with my fami-" Tyler said trying to change the subject but Troye cut him off.

"Stop trying to be funny you know what I mean" Troye said firmly. Tyler took a deep breath, he didn't want to talk about this. If Troye knew about his eating disorder and Beth he would leave for sure, how could anyone love someone who is so broken. Tyler huffed "I don't wanna talk about it" he said not meaning to sound as angry as his voice came across

"Well I do" Troye said pulling away from Tyler and looking at him with concern and a bit of anger in his eyes. Tyler didn't want to get mad but all he knew from the past was that he needed to protect himself. Tyler only knew one thing about friendship and that was to never let others get too close. Once they know your secrets they can destroy you, they know where you are weak and they use it as a pressure point

"Troye god damn it why can't you just drop it" Tyler snarled. Troye got up off the bathroom floor and moved into the main bedroom. Tyler's words stung as he plopped down on the air mattress at the end of Tyler's bed.

Thousands of things zipped trough Troye's mind. He was angry, at himself, at Tyler, at life. Troye didn't see the big deal, Tyler was his friend and he was so lock up about everything. Did he not trust Troye? Troye told him about his cutting and depression and Tyler didn't tell him anything. Was Troye not good enough? Troye felt the burning anger turn into sadness. Maybe he should have stayed home or gone to work instead....

Tyler tried to steady his breathing. He knew that blowing up at the only person who acknowledged him was a bad idea but this was hard. In the past bathrooms had always been Tyler's safe place but now every time he went into a bathroom Troye was there. It started at school and now it was happening at his house. His heart was still pounding and he could still feel the nausea in his gut. Tyler got up off the ground and walked over to his bed before rolling his body so his head was near Troye's. The boys sat on their separate beds looking up at the ceiling, the way the air mattress was placed made it so their heads were only separated by the crack of the different surfaces. Troye could still hear Tyler crying as the laid in the dimly lit room.

"I'm broken" Tyler whispered, his voice shaky with tears. "but I'm trying really hard to fix myself, I just need time" he sniffled and Troye turned to see Tyler tear streaked face. Tyler looked into Troye's eyes "I promise I'm t-trying" he said with a new wave of tears tumbling down his face

"and I just need you to know that I know you're trying, and you can take as much time as you need. But I also need you to know that I'm here and I'm not going anywhere and I believe in you" Troye reached across the gap and wiped the tears off of Tyler's face with his fingers softly "Broken crayons still color Tilly" he hesitated "It's okay to feel broken I know how you feel" Troye took a deep breath "but food is not your enemy, its there to make you healthy. When you make yourself sick it hurts you" Troye was blinking away his own tears

"We both have self destructive habits and I can't promise that they are going to disappear, because, that would be lying. This is going to be hard but even if we are breaking down we can find a way to break though and be strong together" Troye said cupping Tyler's face

"Thank you" Tyler said quietly closing his eyes slowly as the tears ran wild down this cheeks "For what Tilly" Troye said bushing the tears away with a soft smile

"For being so persistent and caring" Tyler said

"Who couldn't care for someone as beautiful as you" Troye said quietly 

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A/N: 

I'M SO SORRY FOR THE EMOTIONS 

I hope no one cried yikes... next chapter is not as sad I swear. 

Also troyler_shipped don't even, I know you were right I didn't last until the weekend...

Until next time...good luck with your life 

Katie :)