Stand By You (Troyler AU)

Opening Up

--Timeskip Friday--

"Okay boys how'd it go" Dan said grabbing his clip board and crossing his one leg over his other knee.

"Great actually" Tyler smiled looking at Troye. The two were side to side on the couch, Dan had a few snacks scattered on the coffee table and they each had a cup of coffee to sip on.

"Thats good to hear...care to tell me more" he said

The boys laughed and looked at each other, "it was nothing" Troye said "we went for a nice dinner at a fancy place and then we went back to my apartment and went to the hot tub"

"Yup we just hung out on the terrace most of the night" Tyler agreed

Dan smiled "oh my god I would have killed to go in a hot tub, must have been relaxing"

"It was" they said in sync, looking at each other before breaking into giggles

"so nothing went wrong" Dan prodded "you both got into the hot tub just fine, end of story"

Troye looked at him not quiet getting what Dan was hinting at, but out of the corner of his eye he saw Tyler cracking his knuckles- something he always did when he was nervous. Dan raised an eyebrow in Tyler's direction.

"Um...I had some trouble like getting myself to get in but...like...I did so its whatever" Tyler mumbled reaching for Troye's hand to comfort himself.

"No no its not whatever, Iets break it down" Dan said with a comforting smile "Starting from the beginning, were you nervous or anxious?"

"No I was fine at first, I wanted to get into the warm water but Troye got in first and...and I don't know...I just hesitated" Tyler said 

"Want cause that hesitation? Can you put a finger on it?"

Tyler looked at Troye nervously "I um...I thought I was going to have to uhh...like... take my shirt off" he mumbled. Troye looked away from Tyler, he didn't want Tyler to see that he had tears in his eyes.

"okay, you know that its-" Dan began but Troye cut him off

"Y-you're not disappointed in me are you" he rushed pulling on Troye's arm to get the boy to answer

"What no!" Troye said looking at Tyler, tears still in his eyes. "I'm proud you and how far you've come" Troye said squeezing Tyler's hand

"Wh-why?" Tyler stuttered

"Why what?" Troye asked

Tyler used his free hand to wipe the tears from his face, "why are you proud of me, I-I didn't do anything"

"I'm always going to be proud of you" The younger boy said "Always."

Dan sighed "okay we are going to take a little break...Troye go get some air" he instructed "Tyler, why don't you stay for a second"

Troye nodded and placed a reassuring hand on Tyler's shoulder, trying to ignore the hot tears that poured down Tyler's face. Troye kissed Tyler's forehead lightly and rubbed his hand down his back. He turned towards the room's door and headed into the lobby, giving Dan the chance to talk to Tyler freely.

As soon as Troye left the room Tyler placed his elbows on her knees and buried his face in his hands. Dan moved into Troye's spot on the couch "Tyler, whats going through your head right now, don't think about it just say it" Dan said

"I hate myself" he whispered, voice thick with tears. "Every inch of skin, every lump and bruise. I hate it. And I hate that Troye is so fucking perfect to me because I don't deserve it. I don't I just...I don't"