Stand By You (Troyler AU)

Tipsy

—Following evening—

"Okay so everyone is in bed so the coast is clear" Tyler said as he walked back into his bedroom where Troye was waiting. Troye nodded his head and the boys walked down the stairs into the kitchen. Tyler pulled out two beers, they weren't going to get hammered but they both needed a drink, it had been a long couple of weeks. Tyler popped the top off the bottles and handed one to Troye as he raised his own bottle to his lips. Suddenly Troye grabbed the bottle way from Tyler.

"Not on an empty stomach" Troye said firmly placing both the bottles on the counter. Troye had been at work most of the afternoon, he wasn't sure if Tyler had eaten anything after they had breakfast together this morning. "But I had lunch" Tyler said in return

"What did you have?" Troye asked crossing his arms. Tyler glared at him "Food"

Troye rolled his eye "No kidding, besides, that was hours ago and you picked me up while your family ate dinner so I know you haven't had anything since your supposed lunch" he said

Tyler glared back at Troye "I'm not a baby Troye you don't need to watch what I eat" Tyler said opening the refrigerator to pull out hummus and carrots. 'Clearly I do' Troye thought to himself as Tyler munched on the snacks.

"I just want to make sure you're okay" Troye said defeatedly, he hated that he had to force Tyler to eat, he wished Tyler knew what he was doing to his body. That the choices he was making were slowly killing him. That if something were to ever happen to him Troye would not survive. "Well I'm not okay I'm fucked up and thats not going to change" Tyler bit back

Troye frowned "Tilly..." Tyler threw the food back into the refrigerator having barely eaten anything "Don't tilly me...I just not hungry right now" Tyler said grabbing the bottle of the counter and taking a big gulp of it. Tyler wanted to tell Troye the he was gay, he needed to tell Troye, he just needed a bit of liquid courage to get him there. Troye sighed, he just didn't have it in him to argue with Tyler right now, he took a swig of the slightly bitter liquid.

Tyler drank the entire bottle of beer within a few minutes before snatching another one. Troye just observed him, he didn't want to start anything "Relax mom this the last one" Tyler said sarcastically topping the top off his second beer. He was already on his way to being drunk, because of his low muscle mass and lack of constant nutrition the alcohol when straight into his blood stream already clouding his judgements. Troye took another sip of his, he wash' drunk or even tipsy but he was feeling good. Troye rolled his eyes, they were both such lightweights.

Tyler spoke up suddenly "Ya know sometimes being this messed up ain't so bad. Everyone tip toes around you waiting to see the next breakdown show" he said "Guess it makes for good entertainment" he lifted the beer to his lips taking another sip of the alcohol he didn't need

Troye began to worry, maybe drinking wasn't a good idea this was a horrible habit to put into Tyler's mind. "Tyler stop" Troye said sadly. Tyler turned to face Troye and glared at him, "What do you me to stop Troye, being a complete disaster. Sorry can't do that" Tyler said sipping the bottle again

Troye could feel his emotions stirring, his eyes were tingling. "Stop staying shit like that" Troye said meekly

"Truth fucking hurts" Tyler snapped

"No Tyler, because thats not the truth. You are a good person and you are amazing you have to stop tearing yourself down" Troye said

"If it wasn't for you I'd be alone" Tyler said "If it wasn't for you I'd stand on my own... no one else stays Troye. Everyone walks away"

Troye didn't want these feelings "Well I'm not going anywhere so can you just be easy on yourself, please...for me" Troye said

"I don't think you get it... It's so hard to breath because I feel like a failure for not being okay, for constantly tearing you down, for putting so much pressure on you. I feel so so guilty because I can't handle my own emotions" Tyler whispered shouted, angry tears teetering on the edge of his eyes.

Troye already had tears streaming down his face "But thats what I'm here to help you with, I can't help you if you don't tell me whats going through your head. I can't read minds Tyler!"

"You really want to know what going through my head?" Tyler asked snottily "I'm gay! and I hate it!" Tears were falling down Tyler's face as spoke "I feel dirty and disgusting because I'm gay and that wrong, because boys aren't supposed to like boys. Thats what my dad has always said, an I feel grimy for having an attractions to boys, I'm broken. I am not functioning the way I should be...and I don't want to talk to you about it because you're gay and you are so okay with it and I'm here despising myself!" Tyler was angry but not at Troye, just at life. He didn't mean to yell at Troye but now he started a fight

"You think this was easy for me? You think it was easy for me to literally leave the only place I knew because my family didn't accept me! I basically got kicked out Tyler! It caused chronic and extreme anxiety on top of my depression, when you met me I hated myself so much I wanted to end my own life! You think I'm just so okay with this!" Troye had tears streaming down his face "And I can't even be mad at you right now because I am to busy being proud of you for telling me... but Tyler this wasn't easy for me, this isn't easy for me still" he continued

Tyler placed his folded arms on the counter and sobbed into them, here he was again pushing away the only person who cared about him. The liquid guilt poured from his eyes, tumbling to puddles on the counter. "I'm such a fucking dick" Tyler sobbed. Troye moved closer to him placing his hand softly on Tyler's back.

"Yeah, sometimes, but thats okay because you are struggling and everyone struggles sometimes. You get a free pass" Troye said calmly

Tyler peered up at him "W-why do y-you keep f-forgiving m-me. I'm s-so horr-ible to y-you" he said

"You are worth so much more and you can accomplish great things, you just have to trust the struggle and the journey, it will all work out. An besides you're my best friend, I kinda need you" Troye said pulling Tyler up toward him. Their faces inches apart and Tyler sighed resting his forehead against Troye's.

"I'm gay" Tyler said again more tears running down his face. "I know you told me" Troye whispered reaching his hand to Tyler's cheek

Tyler looked into Troye's eyes "I know I just wanted to tell you when I wasn't yelling at you and being an ass" Tyler said and Troye smiled

"I'm very proud of you, you know that." Troye said, Tyler nodded his head against Troye's

Tyler smiled "I do now" he said

Troye looked into the blue eyes of his best friend, 'I think I love you'

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A/N: 

I really don't know what this chapter was...yikes @ me. Was it okay though?

Tyler and Korey came it first place on this leg of the Amazing Race today so thats great, very proud of them. 

If you like the story comment or tweet me with suggestions of what you want to see (Jess if you say Troyler babies I'll fight you) 

Love you all, thanks for 1.2k reads already...thats wild.

Okay, good luck with your life 

Katie :) (@GottaGoOakley)