Stand By You (Troyler AU)

What is Love?

Troye slammed the laptop shut. He...he loved Tyler. All this time, these unlabeled feelings. Was it love the whole time? Troye didn't even know what love was. He was confused about what love was, his heat racing like a horse thats escaping. He was pacing around his apartment.

Troye tried desperately to clear his mind, so that he could think rationally and objectively about what was racing through his mind but he couldn't. All he could think about was Tyler. He thinks a lot about the time they've been together because he hated the small talk and he hated the walls that they both had build around their hearts, he hated the guilt that tears him away layer by layer. They both pushed each other way and Troye dreamed about a time when he could hold Tyler as they slept. He wanted to apologize for ever pushing Tyler way in the first place, now more than ever he wanted to take care of Tyler.

It was Tyler, Tyler was the one he talked about all the time, the one he can't stop thinking about. The one that can make him laugh when he didn't even want to smile, the one who could make him feel better in 2.2 seconds, It is Tyler he's crazy about. Tyler he's in love with. Tyler's was the first face he truly saw, before that it seemed he was blind.

Troye was trying not to think about Tyler, but it wasn't working.

——

Troye sat in the passengers seat twisting his fingers as Tyler drove them back to his house. Allexys and Connor sitting in the backseat because they were on their way home from Todd's. Troye gazed out the window trying to ignore the realization he came to earlier. Now that boy was sitting literal inches from him and Troye was so distracted that he couldn't think. His mind spinning to the point where Troye was struggling to concentrating on breathing, remembering to take air in and let it out. Troye let out a shakily breath and Tyler glanced at him quickly before looking in the mirror at his siblings who were both listening to music in head phones.

"Are you okay?" Tyler asked concerned by the shallowness of Troyes breathing

Troye looked over at him, soaking in his presence and he tried yet again to control his racing mind. His emotions all over the place as he tried to accept his over whelming feelings for his best friend. "Y-yeah" Troye said finally, mentally face-palming himself for the stutter

"Are you sure" Tyler asked clearly still concerned "You haven't..um...ya know..." Tyler hesitated for a moment not sure how to ask about his past self harm. He didn't want to accuse Troye, he just wanted to check.

"What!? No. No Tilly of course not" Troye said confidently "I promise, I'm fine don't worry" Troye smiled, now forcing himself to calm down before he sent himself into a panic attack. Tyler glared at him questioningly

"Okayy if you say so" Tyler said. Troye turned to and looking at the side of his face and Tyler steered the car "I swear Ty" Troye said again

"I know, I trust you" Tyler said smiling at Troye. Troye's stomach did a weird flipping motion and Troye wanted to giggle like a school girl but covered it with a slight cough

—— A/n: the lack of punctuation in the later dialogue is meant to show how frantic he was feeling, you'll understand okay bye

"Boys dinner" Jackie called and Tyler rose off the couch tossing the wii remote on the couch as Troye did the same. Tyler and Troye walked in the kitchen side by side, suddenly Tyler was knocked off balance when he felt Troye's hip hit is own. Tyler gasp slightly as is body moved to the side, he flinched his body preparing for impact with the floor. But that never happened, he turned to see Troye arm linked firmly with his own. "Ugh I hate you" Tyler laughed as he rolled his eyes

"I hate you too" Troye smiled and stuck his tongue out, keeping their arms linked as the walked into the kitchen.

Tyler paused briefly when he saw all the food laid on the table. His mother liked to stock the meals for the week, but on Sundays they had one big meal all together resulting in leftovers for the week. Tyler kept walking, the motion unnoticed by Troye. Tyler sat in his usual seat with Troye by his side, Tyler bouncing his leg as the food got passed around. Troye looked at Tyler out of the corner of his eye and placed his hand on Tyler's knee, the bouncing stopped and Tyler mouthed something to him but Troye didn't catch what he said.

Troye scooped the mac-n-cheese onto his plate, placing a small bit on Tyler's plate also. He grabbed the cooked turkey slices and did the same thing. He also slipped corn onto his own plate but not Tyler's hopping that he would at least eat what was on his plate. Tyler looked at Troye trying to push away the panic, he mouthed the message to Troye again but he missed it again. Troye squeezed ketchup onto his plate. Tyler's leg bouncing again.

"Ewwww Tro thats yucky" Allexys said from the other side of the table observing how Troye dunked his pasta into the ketchup. Tyler didn't really care, he need to get out, now.

Troye laughed taking another bite, "Lex its good, you should try it" Troye smiled brutally unaware of Tyler panicking at his side. "Noooo" Allexys called giggling as she dug into her own food. Tyler couldn't do this it was too much. He couldn't do it. All those calories all that food, he couldn't look at it.

"I'm sorry" Tyler whispered badly audible (a/n: buy binge on audible) over the chatter of his family. Troye turned to him, clearly he heard the words. "I-I can't" Tyler said pushing back his chair and hustling up the stairs. Troye tried to grab Tyler's hand but he moved to quickly already at the stair case before Troye could even process what was happening. Troye looked around, no one noticed that Tyler had left. Troye didn't hesitate, he followed right behind Tyler, he wasn't letting Tyler do this.

Troye bounced up the stairs "Tyler!" he called trying to get the boy to stop. "Tyler stop" he called again but he was met with the sound of the bedroom door closing. Troye groaned and quickly walked up the stairs taking them two at a time. He knocked at the door. "Go away" Tyler said

"No" Troye said plainly swinging the door open and walking in side meeting Tyler who was pacing in his bedroom. Troye took a step towards him but Tyler just moved his pacing back.

"I couldn't do it, I-I know you wanted me to but I just couldn't. It was all too much everyone was there and there was so much Troye so so much stuff why do we need that much food it was so much just starring at me—"

Troye moved closer "Tilly slow down its okay" Troye cut in and Tyler swiveled to face Troye

"N-no its not. All that food I can't eat that stuff it has so many calories I can't do it how can anyone do it if I eat that stuff I'm going to get f-fat and if I get fat everyone will hate me thats why everyone leaves its my own fault, its the food's fault why is there so much why is it everywhere why Troye w-why..." Tyler was talking at a million miles an hour his eyes watering as Troye looked at him. Troye took a step closer to him hoping to calm him in some way

"it was looking at me it wants to make me fat so that people don't like me no one likes me anyway I don't even like me so why would anyone else I'm a bother I literally can't even hold myself together one day without falling apart and making you worry about me how many nights have I caused you to lose sleep because you sat wondering if I was okay, i guarantee it was too many and its my stupid fault Troye because I'm broken and no one can fix me and I wish you would just give up and lea-"

Troye leaped forward, he couldn't do it any longer, he leaped forward pushing his lips into Tyler's firmly. The stream of words stopped immediately and Tyler stiffed, shocked. He stood for a moment before relaxing against Troye's plump pink lips. Troye brought is hand up to Tyler's cheek a moment later and pulled away

"I'm not going anywhere" Troye said resting his forehead against Tyler's

------

A/N:

Only took 31 chapters lol 

Good luck with your life

thanks to Jess for her help, she is very lovely 

Katie :)